Connections
by Fate Harbor
Summary: Sequel to Best Laid Plans and Masquerade. Third in the Sister Series. Enterprise embarks on a new mission, finding a woman along the way who presents Bones with a medical mystery. It fascinates him, but not as much as the woman herself. Bones/OC
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek 2009.**

**I'm dedicating this chapter to Sherrie H. for giving me the kick in the butt I needed to get started on the third installment of the Sister Series! Enjoy and please read and review!**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_Something was wrong; he could feel it. The energies swirling around him, housed inside the confines of humanoid flesh, were changing. Weakening. Dying. He stretched the boundaries of his awareness and opened himself to the lives on the station. Yes. Yes, there was the problem. Many decks below, in the station's engineering section. Gases were flooding the surrounding sections too fast to counter and engineers were dying in an attempt to contain the disaster. But it was too late. Vapors from the deadly anti-matter coolant leak had already seeped into the environmental systems. _

_A decision had to be made._

_Burrowed inside his borrowed home, he could feel the shallow rise and fall of his host's chest and sense the dreams blossoming from her subconscious mind in slumber. But she wasn't just any host. She was the one he needed, the perfect choice for the role she would eventually fill. But more than that…he cared for her. Over two years spent inside her warm, gentle and accepting mind had inspired deep fondness in him. And not just for her, for the boy too. _

_His people were natural observers and along with that role came strict rules of non-interference. But he had broken the rules once before and to save these two, he would again. In an instant, he seized control of the woman's body while her psyche slept on. _

_Under his direction, the woman's eyes snapped open and her arms threw off the covers. There was no groggy awakening, only alert and watchful attention. The natural grace of her movements was replaced by stiff efficiency. She moved swiftly into the adjoining room and removed the sleeping child from his bed, holding him to her with protective intention. Her pace quickened as she ran out of her quarters and through the dark corridors of the station._

"_Mommy?" the child asked sleepily, jostled awake by the uneven movements._

"_Go back to sleep, baby." The entity replied, using the same inflection and loving warmth that the boy's mother would._

"_Where are we going?" the little boy questioned._

_These questions were interfering with his single-minded determination and he could not risk the child's intuitive perception being focused on him. He extended the woman's hand and stroked the boy's hair, allowing some of his own energy to calm the child's mind into a deep sleep. The woman's body continued to run through the corridors, but the gases were spreading with silent and deadly efficiency. Many had died already. Many more would die. There was nothing he could do for them._

_Finally, their destination was in sight. At the end of a long corridor was the outer hull of deck ten, where the escape pods were docked. But the gases had already flooded that corridor and the woman's lungs were gasping against the intruding poison. The entity pushed her through at a break-neck pace, all the while clearing her system of the toxin and repeating the procedure with every breath. She opened the hatch to the first escape pod; gas from the hallway immediately rushed in. The child was choking and coughing in his sleep as the woman lay him inside of the pod. It would offer little protection, though, if the gases were not evacuated from its environmental systems. The procedure could be done, but only from the outside. There was no choice now. The woman sealed the pod with her sleeping son inside. Ripping off the access control panel, the woman's fingers performed complex calculations and ordered the computer systems to vacate the poison gas from the pod. It was done and the boy was safe._

_As for the woman, he would keep her alive. He knew he could. Her anatomy, while easily damaged, was also easily repaired. He laid the body of his host down in front of the pod's hatch and left the warm, safe space of her mind. He spread his energy over her body, saturating every cell and repairing her body continually. As soon as the gas caused damage, he fixed it. He processed the air she was forced to breath, filtering out and absorbing all harmful elements. Her consciousness remained unaware, even as her breathing became shallow and peaceful again. The entity within her continued to maintain her systems and he watched her dreams as she slept. _

_And he waited, patiently. He waited for someone to find them. _


	2. Crisis

**Disclaimer: Star Trek isn't mine. Neither is the song **_**Lonely Avenue**_** by Bill Medley. Don't sue.**

**Please read and review!**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

This was a mistake. A horrible, humiliating, soul-sucking mistake. How had he let Jim talk him into this? Bones grunted in response to whatever brainless, ridiculous thing his date was saying now. Something about galactic politics; it was clear she had no idea what she was talking about. He knocked back the rest of his scotch with a roll of his eyes. His companion laughed at something she said and it would have been a pleasant sound if it wasn't so practiced. He signaled the bartender for another round. After another fluttering giggle from her and a cringe from him, he mouthed, _make it a double_. The bastard bartender laughed at him before turning to make his drink. Bones shrugged, thinking he'd probably laugh at him too.

"You don't agree?" Mindy asked, thinking the shrug was for her benefit.

"To what?" Bones asked distractedly, too intent on the bartender sliding his drink to him.

"That humanity represents the ideal balance." Mindy said with pride. "We have the logic of Vulcans, the passion of Klingons, the loyalty of Andorians, the open-mindedness of Trill, the cunning of Romulans, and all without letting any one of those things take control. We have the best qualities of every species we've met in perfect proportion."

Bones barked out a laugh. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

Mindy scowled and huffed. "I'll thank you not to belittle my beliefs."

"I'll thank you not to believe in stupid things." Bones replied casually. Before he could blink, he was covered in the sticky-sweetness of an Andorian Sunset.

"Jerk!" she cried, stomping out of the bar and into the station corridors.

Bones' body went stiff with shock for a moment, before deflating in defeat. Without having to ask, the bartender threw him a rag and he wiped the remains of her drink off of himself. While cleaning up, Jim appeared by his side, tsking.

"That was pathetic." Jim said bluntly. "Your first night out in months with a beautiful girl and you make the monumental mistake of being your usual grumpy, jaded self."

"You can't be serious!" Bones exclaimed. "You're mad at _me_? Well too bad, 'cause I'm mad at _you_! Where did you find that girl, anyway?"

Jim shrugged. "She seemed nice enough."

"Oh, she was. For a slow, self-absorbed racist." Bones shot back sarcastically.

Jim sighed. "Bones, we haven't had shore-leave in nearly eight months and God knows, you've been under more pressure than all of us. And now that we finally get the chance to relax, you're wound tighter than ever! We're only on Starbase 12 for another two days. Make the most of it!"

"You know what? I plan to." Bones said sharply. "I'll make the most of it in my lab or with Joanna."

Bones made to leave, but Jim grabbed his arm. "Hey, I'm just trying to help. You've been a little overwhelmed since Joanna came aboard."

"Overwhelmed? You think I'm overwhelmed? Of course, I'm overwhelmed, damn it! I'm so far out of my element here, I can't tell my ass from my elbow!" Bones exploded, all the frustration and uncertainty of the situation coming to a head. "I have a kid, Jim! I am responsible for making sure Joanna becomes a good person, which is impossible because _I'm_ not even a good person! So forgive me if getting into the pants of some blonde, half-wit is not high on my list of priorities! You want to help, Jim? If you really want to help, then back the hell off while I figure this out!"

Jim had a thoughtful, concerned look on his face as he nodded. And while Bones was still breathing hard from his rant, Jim threw his drink at him.

Bones drew in a gasp and held his arms away from his body as he found himself, once again, drenched. He looked up at Jim and saw that damn infuriating smirk.

"Thought you might need something to wash off all that self-pity." Jim explained. He knew that little stunt would earn him either a punch to the face or a good storm-off and he waited calmly for Bones' reaction.

Bones just stared at his friend until a snort came to the surface. A few chuckles became a few more and eventually he was bent over in laughter. His laughter, so rarely this hearty, was rough and rich. Jim smirked, knowing he'd made the right move. This was why they were friends in the first place; they were each the kick in the ass the other needed to get over themselves.

Finally, Bones straightened out and smirked. "Nice."

"It was my pleasure, Bones." Jim laughed. "But, really, you should have told me things had gotten so bad for you. We all love Joanna; you know we'd help out."

"You can't help someone learn how to be father, Jim." Bones scoffed. "It's something you either have or you don't, and I don't."

"You're being too hard on yourself." Jim insisted. But Bones, being Bones, was stubborn as hell. "Look, Spock and Bonnie are watching her tonight anyway. Why don't you go back to the ship and just have a night to yourself. Listen to some old jazz, watch one of those boring ancient Hollywood flicks you like, drink something, read something, whatever. Just relax, okay?"

"Fine." Bones grumbled. He looked around the bar and his lip curled in disgust. Sweaty strangers were grinding up against sweaty strangers, listening to music that sounded eerily reminiscent of a warp core overload. Every stitch of clothing was either skin tight or so shiny it made his eyes bleed. "Better than being here, anyway."

"That's…sort of the spirit." Jim shrugged, taking what he could get from the recalcitrant doctor. Jim pushed him out the door, smiling and clapping his old friend on the back. "Get out of here, you morose bastard."

"Night, Jim." Bones said as he walked out.

Jim let him go, shaking his head. Bones was always there for him and had always known just what to say to make things better. But no words in the universe could magically make things alright in this case. Bones was a _father_ now. Even being a starship captain and taking responsibility for hundreds of lives didn't compare to the awesome responsibility of _shaping_ another human being. And to have that role thrust on him so suddenly and with no warning…it was no wonder Bones was on edge.

Shaking off that line of thinking, Jim put Bones in the back of his head. If the guy wanted to be alone and miserable for tonight, that was his choice. Jim, however, had his eye on a tall, leggy blond at the bar. He sidled up to her smoothly, running his hand along the small of her back.

"Miss me?" Jim whispered in her ear.

"I was positively lost without you." Lana smirked, swinging her barstool around to face him. "How's McCoy?"

"Heading back to the ship for his own version of recreation. And I was thinking…" Jim's voice dropped to a low, rumbling murmur. "…maybe we should do the same."

Lana quirked an eyebrow, leaning into him. "Well, what did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking of –" Jim was cut off by the loud chirp of his communicator. He sighed and wordlessly apologized to Lana as he answered it. "Kirk here."

"Message coming in for you from Star Fleet Command, Captain. Priority One emergency channel."

"Priority One?" he repeated to Lana, glancing over at her with furrowed eyebrows. Her concern matched his own. Speaking into his communicator, he replied. "On my way. Kirk out."

"We better head back to the ship." he said to Lana, dropping local currency on the bar and covering their tabs. He led her out of the bar, wondering what could be so urgent.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Bones entered his quarters tense and with purpose in his step. After throwing his jacket haphazardly over one of the chairs, he walked to the dining area intent on reaching the antique china hutch against the wall. On the way, he unconsciously kicked one of Joanna's stray toys out of his path with the side of his foot. When he reached his make-shift liquor cabinet, he took out an old bottle of Glenlivet Scotch along with a glass and went back to the living room, plopping down on the couch. Pouring himself a generous glass of the golden-brown liquid and taking a sip, he finally relaxed back into the sofa and let out a sigh of relief.

"Computer." he said wearily. "Play some blues."

"Please specify request." replied the smooth female voice.

"I don't know, surprise me." Bones grumbled. "Pick something at random."

There was a series of beeps and clicks as the computer processed his request. Then his quarters were flooded with the sultry, dark, and sensual chords of a Blues riff. After a couple of measures, before the gravelly voice he knew was coming started to sing, he recognized the song and snorted at the irony. Of all the thousands of songs the computer could have chosen, it chose a song called _Lonely Avenue_. He shrugged; it was his own fault for choosing Blues in the first place. Not the most optimistic genre out there, but then, that's why he liked it.

"_I live on a lonely avenue…since you said that we were through. Well I feel so sad and lonely…and it's all because of you, babe."_

Listening to the lyrics, he nodded as if agreeing with the singer. He couldn't argue with that; that about summed things up for him.

At least this was an honest sort of loneliness. He didn't have anyone, he knew it, and he was okay with that. It hadn't always been that way. Back when he was married, there was a deceptive and almost imaginary sense of belonging. He thought that being married meant you were never lonely and he continued to delude himself into thinking that for the first couple of years of marriage. But one day, out of the blue, he realized he hadn't had a real conversation with his wife in weeks. There were hurried greetings and goodbyes when one was coming and the other was going. There were meals spent talking only about work. There were moments of peace when they spoke about their days, but even those seemed so superficial. He tried to fix it and engage her, but that only served to piss Rita off more. And the sense of loneliness that followed was gut-wrenching. At least there was nothing fake or deniable about this kind of loneliness.

And he'd certainly learned that the loneliness was preferable to the lie. He'd been infatuated with Rita. In the beginning, he saw her dry and witty sarcasm as a compliment to his own. But her sense of humor had a malicious, cutting quality he hadn't seen. What he thought was passion for life turned out to be raw ambition. What he interpreted as genuine feeling was more often than not a manipulative act to get what she wanted. To this day, he could only shake his head and think _how had I not seen that_? Not that he was perfect, but at least a person always knew where they stood with him.

But, he supposed that was all moot now. Rita had died three months ago in a shuttle accident outside of Beijing, leaving him as the sole guardian of their daughter. Even if he lived to be 150, he would never forget the day he first saw her.

_The street-side café Moondance Bistro_ _was idyllic and quaint. There was the quiet, unrushed bustle of people walking by and a low murmur of hushed voices surrounding their table. The occasional clink of dishes, the slight rustle of leaves in the breeze and distant sounds of hover vehicles all joined in the ambient noise, but all he could hear was his own heartbeat. He'd never been on Ambrose Prime before, but his usual curiosity and the itch for discovery was forgotten in favor of nerves and nausea. His leg was shaking in anxiety and the small teacup felt awkward in his hand as he swallowed the bitter liquid in an attempt to coat his dry mouth._

"_Thanks for coming with me." Bones said to the man across from him._

_Jim saw his friend's apprehension and tried to lighten the mood. "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Bones. After all, she's going to be my god-daughter."_

_Bones's head snapped up. "The hell she is! Kid, you can barely keep yourself safe, let alone a child!"_

_Jim grinned. "Just a suggestion."_

_But Bones wasn't paying attention anymore. His eyes were wide as he looked over Jim's shoulder and it took him at least three attempts to be able to swallow. "There she is."_

_Jim turned in his seat and looked at his friend's daughter. The girl was tiny and it looked as though a slight breeze could carry her for miles. He saw Bones in the shape of her face and her bright blue eyes, but the rest he assumed came from her mother. She had light blond hair layered in messy waves that came to the middle of her back. She had on a blue dress and was clutching a plush doll. But all of those observations were secondary to the one glaring aspect of the girl that couldn't be ignored. "Uh, Bones?"_

"_Yeah, Jim."_

"_You've been divorced for five years, right?"_

"_Yeah."_

_Jim nodded absentmindedly, still staring at the little girl. "Care to explain why your daughter can't be more than three years old?"_

_Pause. "Not really."_

_They were quiet until the little girl reached the table, clutching the hand of her nanny tightly and hiding herself behind the woman's leg._

"_Mr. McCoy?" the nanny asked._

"_Yes, I'm Doctor McCoy. It's nice to meet you, Ms. Waldron." he said, shaking her hand. "Please, sit down."_

_The woman first picked up the child and introduced her. "This is Joanna. Joanna, remember I told you you'd be meeting your Daddy? This is him. Say hello, honey."_

_The girl barely looked at him as she whispered, "Hello."_

"_Hello, Joanna." McCoy said softly, shaking his daughter's hand. It was so small in his._

_They all sat down and, luckily for him, Ms. Waldron took charge of the conversation. She showed him drawings his daughter had made in pre-school and spoke of the girl's interests with obvious pride and love. She even managed to draw Joanna out of her shell enough that she would actually speak to him. The conversation hit a lull and all parties knew that the only things left to discuss couldn't be said in Joanna's presence. Jim picked up on this and knelt in front of the child._

"_Joanna, my name's Jim. I'm a friend of your Dad's." Jim said, grinning at the small smile Joanna gave him. "Do you like ice cream?"_

_She nodded vigorously, her smile lighting up. "Let's go get a treat while your Daddy talks to Ms. Waldron. Okay?"_

_The girl hopped down from her nanny's lap and took Jim by the hand. They walked down the street and around the corner. "How is she holding up?" Bones asked, once they were out of sight._

_Ms. Waldron shook her head sadly. "She's a very quiet and reserved little girl, so she's not acting out in an aggressive or violent way as often happens with children her age after the death of a parent. She just cries a lot; she's insecure and often has great need for physical affection. She has regressed in other ways, though. She's had accidents and mild separation anxiety. She refuses to sleep by herself anymore and has gone back to sucking her thumb. But, she's stopped asking when her mother's coming back, so she has some awareness of the permanence of her mother's absence."_

_Bones rubbed his brow, nodding. "Were they close? Joanna and Rita?"_

_Ms. Waldron hesitated. "You were married to Ms. Henshaw; you know what she was like."_

"_Unfortunately." Bones agreed._

"_She certainly had her flaws." Ms. Waldron said. "I would have quit long ago if it weren't for Joanna, but even I could see that Ms. Henshaw tried. Whether she succeeded at all is in the eye of the beholder, but she did the best that she knew how."_

"_That's all I can do, too. I hope it's enough." Bones said uncertainly._

_The matronly Ms. Waldron reached across the table and patted his hand. "Just love her and you'll be fine."_

Three months later and he was no more certain of his ability as a father than he was that first day. In his opinion, the only thing that had kept him from massively screwing up his daughter in that short time was being on Enterprise. Star Fleet Command had wanted to relegate him to a starbase or land-duty considering ships weren't equipped for families, but Jim wouldn't hear of it. He fought for Bones to remain on board and thank God he did. He could never have pulled this off without the support of his friends, his _family_. Joanna had plenty of "aunts" and "uncles" to keep her occupied and there was always someone to watch her if he was on duty or needed a break. Bonnie had been especially invaluable. Even though she was technically on maternity leave and was busy preparing for the arrival of her own little Vulcan, she conducted therapy sessions for Joanna disguised as play dates. Joanna had come out of her shell and had made incredible progress as a result.

In fact, he kind of missed the little bugger. Getting up, he recycled his glass in the replicator and returned the Scotch to the liquor cabinet. He was just about to take a shower, rinsing off the faint odor of the bar before picking Joanna up, when the comm. panel in his room chirped.

"Senior officers: report to the conference room immediately."

Bones sighed, but headed out the door and made his way to the bridge.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The conference room was filled with officers, all turned toward their captain and waiting for him to start the meeting. His face was hard; not in anger, but as though he had to refrain from showing any emotion. He jaw was clenching and unclenching and the officers waited for him to begin.

"We have been given a mission." Jim said softly. "It will take its toll on the crew and on each of us. But it's been assigned Priority One status by Starfleet Command and we are the closest ship by far."

"What's the mission?" Lana asked.

"Retrieval. It's a two-fold retrieval mission. We must retrieve time-sensitive information from a station in the Suravo sector and…" Jim swallowed. "And we must retrieve the bodies of the station's personnel."

"Bodies?" Bones asked sharply. "What happened? Was there an attack?"

"No attack." Jim replied. "But there was an accident. Star Fleet Command and the Vulcan High Council have been in frequent contact with the station, but there hasn't been a response in nearly four days. A nearby probe studying a nebula was redirected toward the station. It detected a concentration of anti-matter coolant throughout the station; 397 parts per million."

"Dear God." Scotty breathed. "That's ten times the lethal level."

Jim nodded solemnly. "There were 218 people on the station manifest."

There was a moment of silence for the dead, as the officers tried to wrap their minds around that level of devastation.

"What kind of station was this?" Spock asked.

"It was an independent research station. It's called the Inter-Species Education Cooperative or I-SEC." Jim informed them. As he was about to go into more depth, there was a staggered gasp from Lana. Across from her, Sulu gave a vacant whisper of, "No." Bones switched his gaze between them and was shocked to see tears pooled in both of their eyes. Lana's hand covered her mouth and her eyes squeezed shut. Sulu was frighteningly blank. His face was pale and stony, his eyes dull and vague. He stood shakily, his eyes moving as though he didn't know where to turn. He looked at each of them without really seeing and his mouth opened and closed without sound. Like he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words to fit everything he was feeling. After only a moment, he closed his mouth until his lips were a flat line and walked from the room like a phantom.

In unison, all eyes left the doors that had closed behind him and centered on Lana. She was having more trouble containing her emotions than Bones had ever seen. She was staring at the table, but then raised her head as she felt the attention of the room settle on her. A tear leaked out the corner of one eye and she wiped it away angrily.

"We've both spent time on that station." Lana said flatly. "I-SEC was founded by Hikaru's sister, Kizri. She lived there with her son."

"Oh…God." Uhura whispered, her face screwing up with sadness and sympathy for Sulu.

"Are you sure there were no survivors?" Lana asked Jim, almost begging.

He just shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Lana nodded brokenly. "Sir, request permission to be on the away team. Kizri was on that station and so was Keio and now they're both…" Lana choked up again. "I need to go. I need to be the one to bring them back. Please."

"Permission granted." Jim said. "Go find Sulu."

Lana nodded and left the room. Jim stared after her for a moment before shaking his head and turning back to his remaining officers. "Bones, you'll have to be in charge of the retrieval of the bodies."

Bones nodded. "I'll need two of the cargo bays emptied and converted into morgues for the time being. I'll also need access to the industrial replicator to manufacture enough coffins for the station personnel."

"Granted." Jim said. "Scotty, you'll be in charge of the information retrieval."

"Are we looking for anything specific, Captain?"

"Yes and no. We'll need to download their entire database, but in the short-term, we need to find and transmit any data pertaining to New Vulcan."

"What kind of information?" Spock asked, head tilted sharply in interest.

"I-SEC was working on several proposals for the Vulcan High Council. Ways of reformatting and redesigning their education systems to adapt to their reduced population and new circumstances. The Vulcans are in the middle of an overhaul, but were very reliant on the research and direction of I-SEC in implementing it. They're at a critical juncture and need the research in order to continue."

"It'll take up a lot of computer space downloading all the information in their systems, Captain." Scotty said.

Jim nodded. "Work with Chekov on a re-org of the main computer and consolidate the free space to make the download easier."

"Aye, sir."

"Spock, you'll be responsible for reinitializing the environmental systems on the station. We'll need to have dozens of people over there to get this done quickly and it would be easier if they didn't have to do it in environmental suits. Bones, you'll go with Spock's team to judge when it's safe for our teams to beam aboard."

"Aye, Captain." Spock and Bones spoke in unison.

"We have ten hours until we reach the station. Prep your teams and sections as best you can. Dismissed." Jim ordered. He waited until the doors were closed and he was alone before letting his head fall into his hands. This was without out a doubt the hardest mission he'd ever commanded, made even worse for the personal losses suffered by two of his crew. Reaching inside of himself and drawing from that well of strength within him, he stood from his chair, straightened out his shirt and walked onto the bridge with cool authority.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The I-SEC station lingered in space, dark and desolate. It was an isolated location, far from any star system or shipping lanes. The only thing that occupied this section of sky with the broken down station was a magnificent and colorful spiral nebula. The station was on the outer perimeter of the nebula, providing an incredible backdrop of light blues and greens, with flashes of white light coming from within. It would have been an awe-inspiring sight, if not for the difficult task ahead. Spock, Scotty, Bones, and two engineers were outfitted in the environmental suits and waiting on the transporter pad. Spock gave Chekov a nod and the young man engaged the transporter beam and transferred them to the command center of the station.

They materialized aboard the station, surrounded by the thick, white fog of anti-matter coolant.

"Alright, lads. Let's head to engineering and fix the anti-matter containment fields." Scotty said, moving from the room with his two engineers. Spock and Bones remained, Spock trying to restore power to the computer displays and Bones scanning the environment.

"Are you detecting anything unusual, Doctor?" Spock asked.

"I can't even detect your life signs through this mess." Bones reported. "We'll have to wait for Scotty to vent the coolant particles to locate the bodies more precisely."

"Understood." Spock acknowledged. He managed to bring the command center to life again and the screens all became active. "Please monitor the environmental systems. Mr. Scott, situation report." Spock said through his comm. line.

"It's a right mess down here, Commander." Scotty replied. "The accident was caused by a combination of outdated parts, inefficient system connections, and just plain neglect. With the age of this station, it's a wonder it didn't happen sooner."

"Are you able to evacuate the anti-matter coolant?" Spock asked.

"Aye, sir. But there's no way to reestablish main power, we'll have to keep her running on back-up systems only."

"Understood. Proceed with venting the gas."

A sucking sound swept through the bridge as the white fog became thinner and thinner. Bones continued to monitor the environmental systems throughout the station as the gases were vacuumed out into space. When the levels of coolant particles reached 10 parts per million and falling, Bones nodded at Spock. "Alright, that should be fine."

Bones removed his gloves and helmet cautiously, but breathed deep. With the fog completely dissipated, he could see that there were several bodies in the command center. He went to the sensor display and entered the first few calculations needed to narrow the sensor sweep to inert, organic material only. He stopped, however, when something on the station layout caught his attention: heat signatures, two of them.

"Computer, identify heat sources located on deck ten, section 31-delta." Bones asked the computer.

"Heat signatures belong to Kizri Nyaal and Keio Sulu." Computer replied.

"What the – Are they alive?" Bones nearly shouted in disbelief.

"Affirmative."

"Spock, we have survivors!" Bones yelled, running from the room. Spock looked up sharply. He'd been in the middle of a report to the Captain, but this was most unexpected.

"Spock, did Bones just say what I think he said?" Jim said urgently. Spock moved toward the station Bones had just abandoned and analyzed the sources of heat. They were consistent with life signs.

"Yes, Captain. Apparently, there are two survivors aboard the station."

"They are top priority, Spock!" Jim exclaimed. "Get them over here!"

"Aye, Captain." Spock said, moving down the hall and following his tri-corder toward the life-signs.

Meanwhile, Bones had just arrived at a long corridor and could see a body at the end of it. Even from here, he could see the chest rising and falling. He ran the rest of the way and slid onto his knees next to the body, a woman. He ran his medical tri-corder along her body without even looking at her, his grin getting wider as he found no damage, no side-effects of the poisonous gas and absolutely no indication that anything was wrong. He followed the read out of his tri-corder, reading another life-sign beyond the thick deuterium hatch of the escape pod. Going into immediate triage mode, he ignored the woman that he'd already confirmed to be fine and opened the pod door.

Inside, there was a little boy, not much older than Joanna. He, unlike the woman, was wide awake and staring at him. The boy's arms were wrapped protectively around his knees and there were wrappers all around him from spent ration packs. Bones approached the boy slowly.

"Hello. My name is Leonard. I'm a doctor." Bones spoke slowly. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know." the boy said in a small voice. "I'm Keio."

"Yes, I know." Bones smiled. "I'm friends with your Uncle Hikaru."

"Is he here?" Keio asked excitedly, immediately perking up.

"He's on a ship nearby, called the Enterprise. Would you like to go see him?" Bones asked.

Keio grinned and nodded rapidly. Bones arranged for Sulu to meet the boy in the transporter room and signaled Chekov to beam Keio over. As soon as the boy dematerialized, Bones left the pod and found Spock kneeling next to the woman named Kizri Nyaal. Now that he was out of crisis mode and had a chance to slow down, he took in the woman's features. She looked to be medium height, with shoulder length brown/black hair and Asian features. Her skin was so pale, it almost had a glow to it, like the old Hollywood starlets. But while their glow was the result of precise lighting and a soft-focus lens, her almost ethereal radiance was entirely natural. She had the lush curves of the era, too: small waist, flaring hips, and shapely legs. But the most distinctive of her features were the spots running from the top of her forehead and down her neck, disappearing beneath her flowing blue nightgown.

"She's Trill." Bones said, slightly shocked.

"Half-Trill." Spock clarified, clenching his jaw tightly. Bones had learned that meant the Vulcan was fighting an emotional reaction. "And half-human."

Bones ran his tri-corder over her again; same results as last time. And now that he thought of it, that was impossible. Keio was in perfect health, but he'd been in a sealed escape pod. Kizri had been surrounded by the gas for four days. She should be dead! So, the question was...why wasn't she?

"Half-Trill, half-human and…" Bones paused, shaking his head in confusion. "a complete mystery."


	3. Awakening

**Disclaimer: you know the drill! Not mine!**

**Thanks for all of your reviews on the first chapters! Please read and review! Encouragement keeps the muses happy!**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The conference room was silent as Bones finished his medical report on the station's only two survivors. Keio was moderately dehydrated from his time in the escape pod, but otherwise in good health. It was his mother who was the true medical mystery. The woman was in perfect health after four days of heavy exposure to anti-matter coolant – no respiratory scarring, no brain damage, not even a cough! – and yet for some reason, she remained unconscious.

The silence persisted until Jim looked around the room and asked, "Explanations?"

Some looked down, others looked away and some just shook their heads. Bones spoke up. "There's no explanation for this. Everything I've studied about medical science says she should be dead. What we're seeing…frankly, it's impossible."

"Obviously not, since she is alive and well." Spock interjected. "Captain, if you eliminate the impossible, whatever explanation is left – no matter how improbable – must be the truth. Either there is something about this woman's physiology that we have missed or the means behind her survival are beyond any explanation we can conceive of based on our current level of scientific knowledge."

"Well, there's nothing in either Trill or human physiology that can withstand exposure to anti-matter coolant." Bones said bluntly.

Jim, however, took a more open-minded approach and turned to Sulu. "Unfortunately, we don't have access to your sister's medical records. We'll have to go on your knowledge of her to fill in the gaps. Tell us anything about her that might be relevant to this…mystery of ours."

"As Dr. McCoy already said, she's half-human and half-Trill, which is pretty unusual in and of itself." Sulu shrugged.

Spock turned sharply toward the helmsman. His eyes were hard and his jaw was clenched. "A fact you have never mentioned before. Tell me, Mr. Sulu, did you not think the fact that your sister is an alien-human hybrid would be of interest to anyone on this ship?"

Bones looked at the Vulcan and finally understood the reason for his emotional (for a Vulcan) response. As far as he knew, as far as _anyone_ knew, Spock was the first and only alien-human hybrid in existence. True, it's not like there was a registry of such people, but anyone who knew Spock could sense the isolation and loneliness brought on by his unique circumstance. The fact that someone else on this ship, a close friend especially, had knowledge to the contrary and didn't share it was mind-boggling! It seemed the other officers had rapidly come to the same conclusion and turned toward Sulu for an explanation.

"Look, she's my sister." Sulu said defensively, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "It's kind of hard to think of your own flesh and blood as an alien, no matter how…different she is. It honestly never occurred to me."

"Lana?" Bonnie asked, her question implied.

"It never came up." Lana shrugged. "And it's not my place to volunteer information about Sulu's family, anyway."

"We're getting off topic." Jim interrupted. "Sulu, just tell us everything you can about her."

Sulu nodded. "Well, she's my half-sister. We have the same father, but her mother is Trill. My father was an Application Specialist for the Federation Council and was on one of the first long-term diplomatic missions to Trill after they expressed interest in joining the Federation. She grew up on Trill, but she's not like any Trill you've ever met for a few reasons."

"Such as?" Bones asked.

"Well, there's her being a hybrid. But she's also a Joined Trill. She was Joined with the Nyaal symbiont about two years ago."

Bones shook his head in confusion. "I can't understand it. Why would she be Joined?"

Jim frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, according to several Trill medical journals, only a small percentage of their population is capable of Joining with a symbiont. Technically, all Trill are wired to be able to carry a symbiont, but it is such an ancient relationship that there have been evolutionary deviations. If an unsuitable host is used, both the host and the symbiont can die. For one, with her being half-human, she shouldn't be compatible and for another, the Symbiosis Commission would never have selected her to Join."

"They didn't." Sulu responded. "She was put in a difficult position and she had a choice. She could either let the symbiont die or try to Join with it and risk both of their lives. She tried the Joining and it was stable, much to the Symbiosis Commission's amazement. Once a Trill is Joined, the symbiont cannot be removed without killing the host, so they had no choice but to allow it."

"Is there any energy or chemical produced by the symbiont that could account for her surviving?" Jim asked.

"I don't see how." Bones replied. "I've done some research on them since she came aboard; their physiology is even more fragile than ours."

Jim nodded and turned back to Sulu. "Anything else?"

Sulu hesitated and looked at Lana. "Not…really."

"Don't leave anything out." Jim said warningly.

"It's probably nothing." Lana concluded. "It's just the culture she grew up in is very different, even on Trill."

"Nonetheless, we don't know what we're looking for here, so we don't know what information may turn out to be relevant. May as well lay everything on the table now." Jim insisted.

Sulu sighed. "She's different from most Trill. Not because of being Joined or being part-human. She's part of a minority on Trill; they make up about 5% of the population. They're called the Nozomi; it literally means 'Old Way'. But it's just societal differences. Physiologically, there's no difference between the Nozomi and other Trill."

"Explain." Spock instructed.

"Trill's first contact was from the Toluzian Empire about 400 years ago. Before that point, they had no concept of marriage or monogamy." Sulu said, blushing slightly. Bones raised an eyebrow. "They had a global philosophy based on a continuous, cosmic energy that joined and flowed through all things. Energy is central to Nozomi culture and they even teach their children to perceive and "read" it somehow. It's an ancient tradition, but since First Contact the whole planet has changed to a society more like our own: nuclear family units with a monogamous couple at the center and a society more reliant on science than philosophy. The Nozomi still follow the old traditions, though. Of course, they hold jobs and use technology and all that, but they still subscribe to the ancient spirituality and social structures of the Trill. But like I said, I can't imagine that has anything to do with her situation now."

"Is there anything else?" Jim urged them. "Anything else that might explain this?"

Lana, Sulu and Bones all shook their heads apologetically. Jim sighed.

"Then there's not much more we can do until she wakes up. Maybe she'll have some answers for us. Dismissed."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Bones sat reclined in his office chair and had been there ever since the staff meeting ended. The monitor on his computer was blank, the PADDs on his desk were neglected and beeping monitors were studiously ignored. He stared out of his office window into the main sick-bay, just watching the Trill woman. There was a look of deep concentration on his face; his hand was moving over his chin absentmindedly as he studied her. This was baffling to him, a complete unknown. He didn't like unknowns. He'd skimmed every text he could find about Trill physiology, the affects of Joining, even Nozomi diet and herb-lore, anything that could shed some light on this conundrum. But there was nothing.

People had filtered in as their duty shifts ended. Sulu first and then Lana. Jim, being entirely whipped, couldn't go an hour without touching Lana and had joined her. Sulu sat on the edge of Kizri's bed, just talking to her and holding her hand. Lana and Jim were playing with Keio, who was a very spirited and bright little boy. He'd have to introduce the boy to Joanna; it would do her good to have a friend her own age.

The woman, Kizri, still hadn't woken up. He could have given her a stimulant, but considering he didn't know why she was unconscious in the first place, he thought it best to allow her to awaken naturally. And when she did, he hoped to god she had answers. He knew himself well enough to know that this would drive him crazy. It was like seeing someone from your past and having their name be right on the tip of your tongue, only to have it slip away every time you were close to remembering. He knew there had to be an answer; it was probably right in front of his face. But he just couldn't see it!

He slipped back into his brooding musings, which were violently interrupted when the doors to sickbay opened to a cacophony of noise. Startled, he looked up and saw Bonnie, whose face was scrunched up in pain, screaming for all she was worth. Spock was carrying his wife with a steady stride and Scotty and Uhura were trailing after them. Scotty was a babbling wreck, while Uhura showed a combination of worry and excitement.

"Doc, it's time!" Scotty shouted, moving with his sister and brother-in-law to one of the biobeds. Bones jumped out of his seat and was at their side in a few quick strides. Scotty continued to ramble as he wrung his hands. "We were having dinner and Bonnie made a face and there was this gross splashin' sound and I think she may have peed on my chair, but then she was grabbin' her belly and pantin' and we came as soon as we could! You gotta-"

Whatever Scotty said was drowned by a screech from Bonnie, whose nails were dug into Spock's forearm. Bones called for a nurse and ran a tri-corder over Bonnie's hugely pregnant belly. Her contractions were very close together, but Vulcans were notorious for long labors which could sometimes stretch into days.

"Alright, Bonnie." Bones said, while the nurse ran a sterilizer over his hands. "You're gonna get the urge to push, but you've got to ignore it for now. You're not fully dilated yet and the labor itself could take days. Just remember to breath-"

Bonnie let out a terrifying shriek and no one could tell if it was pain or anger or both. "_Days_?" Bonnie growled, her teeth bared at the doctor. Bones took an unconscious step back. With sweat dripping from her forehead and her blonde locks sticking to her face, combined with her almost _demonic _voice, no one blamed him. "You listen to me, McCoy. I have been pregnant for _eleven and a half months_! I want this little monster out of me! Now!"

"Labor can't be rushed, Bonnie. It will take however long-"

Once again he was interrupted. Bonnie's eyes flashed with anger as she gripped Bones' forearm and dug her nails into him, too. Bones winced and Spock shot him a near-sympathetic look, as he was in the same position. Bonnie's voice hissed at him. "You _will _get this kid out of me now, or so help me God, I will _murder_ you with your own laser scalpel, you unbelievable piece of-"

Bonnie released him as a contraction overcame her and her rant was cut off by pained groan. Bones sighed, filling a hypospray. "Oh, yeah. This is gonna be a long night."

He promptly injected the seething counselor with pain medication. She calmed down only slightly after that. Bones kicked everyone out of the surgical bay except Spock and concentrated on taking care of his patient.

Outside the curtain, most of the senior staff was awaiting the arrival of their newest crewmember. The men were pacing and the women were sitting calmly on the biobeds. Scotty had chewed his nails into nothingness and had begun biting his lip. Uhura occasionally reassured him with calm, kind words. Lana just rolled her eyes at Jim and Sulu's behavior. Honestly, anyone would think that _they_ were all about to be fathers.

In the midst of the chaos and worry, no one was paying much attention to Keio Sulu. That suited him just fine. He was fascinated by the fast and pretty energies beyond the curtain, where the screaming lady was. His Mommy had always said he was special for what he saw and said that not many people could play with the energy. He knew that Mommy could sort of see the energies too, but she couldn't play with them like he could. He liked it. It was fun! It was like putting your hand into a pond and wiggling your fingers around; you could feel the water swirling around you and everything looked and moved different underwater. Keio decided he wanted to play with the screaming lady's energy. She looked unhappy and maybe he could make her happy again! Uncle Hikaru and Aunt Lana would be so proud of him! And Mommy too, when she woke up!

Keio shimmied down from the tall biobed and snuck through the curtain when Aunt Lana and the other lady were scolding the men for being so nervous. Inside the curtain, Keio grew very worried for the screaming lady. She looked hurt and tired. He looked at her big belly and realized some of the energy in her was a baby! There was a big man in front of the lady's legs; he was being nice to her and trying to calm her down. She wasn't being very nice back. There was another lady helping the big man and bringing him things and another man with pointy ears. But the lady and the baby were hurting and Keio wanted to help them. He saw a stool in the corner and rolled it over to the bed and climbed on top of it near the lady's belly.

"What the-" Bones started, seeing the little boy out of the corner of his eye. "Get outta here, kid!"

Keio ignored the big man and focused on the energy surrounding the screaming lady. It was thick and dirty. The hum around her sounded weird and the colors were all wrong; the baby in her wasn't helping matters any. He bent over her belly and whispered, "Be nice, baby. You're hurting your mommy. It's not nice to hurt your mommy."

Then he put his hand on the lady's big belly and started to make the energy better. He couldn't really say what he was doing, but he knew what the energy needed to look like to make the lady happy. Mommy said he would understand better when he was older, but he understood fine now. She was unhappy because her energy didn't look like it was supposed to. If he made her energy better, she would be happy again! What else was there to understand?

To the adults in the room, it looked as though he was rubbing her belly. Occasionally, he would pick at the air above her skin like he was picking a piece of lint off her. He started to babble happily to the baby, sharing his childhood wisdom with it. Bones was about to call the nurse to remove the child, but looked up at Bonnie. She looked almost content. She was still tired and sweaty and in some pain, but the boy seemed to calm her down.

"Nurse, escort the child-" Spock started.

"No!" Bonnie cried, gently gripping Spock's arm. "Let him stay."

"Are you sure, _t'hy'la_?" Spock asked, masked concern in his eyes.

"Yes." Bonnie nearly laughed. "He makes me feel better."

Bones shrugged, getting back to the job at hand. He worked with Bonnie, urging her to push. With every push, Keio moved his small hands rapidly down Bonnie's belly, almost shooing the child out of her. Bonnie kept her noises down to grunts and groans and the boy continued to talk happily to the unborn baby.

"And when you get out, you're gonna be really small but I'll still share my toys with you. But not my model shuttles, I really like those and I don't let _anyone_ play with those, not even Mommy. But I have some stuffed animals and games that I'll teach you because you're not going to know anything, so I'll have to teach you everything. But that's okay, cause I'm a good teacher. My Mommy's a teacher, so that's probably why I'm good at it too. And I'll show you-"

"Alright, Bonnie, I can see the head!" Bones announced. "A couple more pushes! One, two, three, push!"

Bonnie bore down with all of her might and gave a strangled cry when she couldn't push anymore. "I can't!" she sobbed. "I can't anymore."

"You're almost there, Bonnie!" Bones encouraged. But the tired counselor just shook her head and fell back against the biobed. "Spock, help her!"

Spock looked at his exhausted wife and did the only thing he could. He put his fingers to her face and initiated a mind-meld, giving her the strength and support to bring their child into the world.

"Whoa, cool!" Keio yelled, looking at the couple. The energies of three were mingled together, flowing from the man to the woman, from the woman to the baby, from the baby to the woman and back to the man. It was like a spinning circle of colorful energy.

Spock's interference seemed to give Bonnie a second wind. She gathered herself up, locked her hands under her knees and pushed hard when the next contraction hit her.

"The head's out!" Bones shouted. "Shoulders, torso, legs…"

A cry erupted into the surgical bay and Bones held the baby in his hands, severing the umbilical cord with a laser. He grinned down at the baby from behind his surgical mask and then looked up at the new parents. "Congratulations. You have a healthy, beautiful baby girl."

Spock looked frozen as he stared at the infant. His eyes were wide and, if Bones wasn't mistaken, a bit shinier that normal. Bonnie reached her hands out for the baby, her emotional yet elated laugh speaking to how happy she really was. Bones worked for the next few minutes cleaning Bonnie and the baby up. He left the proud parents alone, picking up the Trill boy on his way out of the surgical bay.

"You did good in there, kid." Bones drawled, a small smirk on his face. "How many babies have you delivered?"

"This is my first!" Keio said proudly.

"What? No way!" Bones acted shocked. "You were a pro! Come on, you can tell me. How many, really?"

"Really, it was my first time seeing a baby get borned! It was so cool, though!" Keio burst out happily.

Bones chuckled. "Well, I think you've got a knack for it."

"Yep, I think so too. I'm gonna be a doctor when I grow up!" Keio declared.

The doctor finally pushed the curtain aside, the little boy still attached to his side.

"Well?" Jim said impatiently, stopping in his tracks.

Bones paused and then grinned. "It's a girl! Mother and daughter are doing fine. Although Spock may need a dermal regenerator for his forearm."

There were awws and cheers and congratulations going around, but Bones wasn't paying attention to them. Movement in the far corner of the room caught his eye; Kizri was stirring. He hurriedly passed Keio to Lana and ran to the biobed, grabbing a medical tri-corder along the way.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_It was unlike anything he'd ever seen. The pain, the struggle, the intimacy, the joy…all culminating in new life. The child emerged from the woman's body, now it's own unique entity and bringing forth a new spark of energy into the universe. And looking at the other humans, he could see that this was almost a communal experience. Not just the mother and father were awed, but doctor, friends, and family were emotionally invested as well. Such a primal energetic experience for all involved! He wanted to be involved too, no longer a spectator but an active participant in this and other human interactions. That was, after all, why he was here. Enough time had passed and Kizri was well rested. He realized the mystery her miraculous survival had sparked, but a mystery it would remain…for now._

Kizri's eyes moved back and forth more rapidly under her lids. She became aware of the light first; it was so bright in here. How had she slept through it before? And the noise, it was so loud! She moaned petulantly at being awakened and shifted in an attempt to get more comfortable. Now she could feel a presence hovering over her and some persistent beeping that sounded like it was going off right next to her ear. She tried to bat it away, but another noise replaced it. A voice, rich and deep. It drew her consciousness toward the surface and she gradually opened her eyes.

The first thing she saw was a man. She took in his features and realized she didn't recognize him. She moved to sit up, but his hand went to her shoulder and gently pushed her back down. The physical contact allowed her to feel his energy and it intrigued her. Some perceived the energy with one sense more strongly than the others. Her son had the rare gift of using all his senses, but she sensed best with touch. His energy flowed onto her skin and it was like…wet sand. Gritty, warm and rough but oddly comforting. A second hand went to her back, spreading more of the cozy energy over her, and helped her sit up. By this time, more people had gathered around her in this strange place. She moved from face to face, not recognizing anyone. Until she saw her little brother.

"Hikaru?" Kizri asked, her voice warm and low and slightly raspy from lack of use. "And Lana? Lana, is that you?"

The two stepped forward from the crowd, coming closer to her side. "Hey, Kiz." Sulu said softly, taking her hand. His familiar energy slid over her, like reaching into a thick, moist fog.

"What are you doing here?" she asked confusedly, though with a small smile on her face.

"You're on the Enterprise, Kizri." Lana spoke up.

"Lana, love, let me look at you!" Kizri murmured softly. Lana had always been close to her heart. She was tied to Hikaru's energy by soul-bond and was therefore a sister to Kizri. Kizri placed her hands on Lana's shoulders and ran them down her arms before taking the younger woman's hands in hers. Lana's energy had a similar quality to Hikaru's but it was more like dry ice than a fog. Dry, cold, murky, with a burning quality. But her energy had changed recently. Some of the cloudiness of the energy had condensed into a tether-like structure. Kizri followed the cloudy tether and her eyes met another man's. He was young and strong and she could see a similar tether binding him to her. She gaze switched back and forth from Lana to the man in astonishment.

"Lana!" Kizri smiled widely. "You are entwined with him?"

Lana laughed, looking at Jim. "Yes, we're…entwined. We call it dating."

Kizri's brow furrowed in confusion. "I thought dating was a casual arrangement. You two are deeply in love."

Lana's smile froze on her face and Jim's eyes went wide. The two sputtered out incoherent nonsense for a few moments, confusing Kizri even more. Eventually, she picked out the words 'bridge, captain, duty' from the man before he bolted out of the room and the words 'armory, target practice, cupcake' from Lana before she ran out the door and in the opposite direction.

The first man she'd seen was laughing hysterically. "Of course they'd need someone else to tell them they're in love with each other." he said with sarcastic humor. "Morons."

"I hope I haven't pushed them to anything they're not ready for." Kizri said with kind concern.

"Are you kidding?" Bones exclaimed. "The only way those two ever move forward is for someone to give them a shove in the right direction! Trust me, they'll be fine."

Sulu finally spoke up, moving closer to his sister. "Kizri, what's the last thing you remember?"

"Going to sleep in my quarters." she replied. "Why?"

"You don't remember going to the escape pods?" Bones asked.

"What?" Kizri nearly shouted. "No! Why would I go to the escape pods? What happened?"

Sulu sat down beside Kizri while Bones continued his bio-scan. "There was an accident on I-SEC. An anti-matter coolant leak spread through the station. You and Keio were the only survivors."

"But…" she whispered. She could make no objections after that, knowing that Hikaru wouldn't lie to her. She could only breath in and out, trying to keep herself from falling apart. There were so many questions, but one instinct shoved them all to the side. Kizri held her arms open wide and called Keio to her. She had to touch him, feel his energy, affirm that he was alive. The boy was oblivious to her dire need for him, but bounded over to her happily. She hugged him tight as he played with a medical tri-corder. "Are you okay, baby?"

"I'm fine, Mommy." Keio answered brightly.

Sulu continued after a moment. "Doctor McCoy found Keio sealed inside an escape pod; he was fine when we found him. You, however, were outside of the pod and immersed in the leak for four days. But somehow, you're still alive. Do you have any idea what happened?"

Keio piped up, barely glancing up from the tri-corder. "It was Other-Mommy."

The adults all turned to look at him. When he saw their curious looks, he explained. "Other-Mommy saved us. She woke me up and started running in the halls. But then I went back to sleep. But I could see her, when I was in the pod-thingy. She was outside of it with Mommy, taking care of her."

When the men turned back to Kizri with questioning looks, she shrugged. This was the first she'd heard of it.

"Keio." Sulu said slowly. "Who's Other-Mommy?"

"Well, it looks like Mommy and sounds like Mommy and moves like Mommy, but it's not Mommy. It lives in her head." Keio said, tapping Kizri's temple. "I can see it. It's been there for a while, but this is the first time Other-Mommy has come out and talked to me."

The adults couldn't decide if this was a child's imagination or the first lead they'd gotten in this mystery, but Bones decided he couldn't risk ignoring it. "I'd like to do a full battery of tests on you, Ms. Nyaal. Is that alright with you?"

"Please, call me Kizri. And yes, that's fine with me." she agreed. "Keio's perceptions should not be ignored, even if it turns out to be nothing."

Bones asked everyone to leave while he got the tests underway. Keio left with Sulu, waving enthusiastically to both of them over his uncle's shoulder.

"That's one great kid you've got." Bones commented.

"I think so, too." Kizri smiled gently.

"I've got to say, it was pretty quick thinking to seal Keio in an escape pod. You saved his life."

"I don't even remember doing it, though." Kizri frowned.

Bones shrugged. "Maybe it was mother's instinct?"

"Maybe." Kizri said uncertainly. "But a mother's instincts doesn't protect against anti-matter coolant."

"Nothing does." Bones added. Kizri sat silently as Bones continued running a tri-corder over her head, once again finding her to be in perfect health. She was fiddling with the medical tri-corder that Keio had left behind, barely aware she was toying with it. She was overcome by the events on her station. I-SEC was _her_ project. She'd built that organization from the ground up. She'd hand-picked her co-workers: teachers, policy makers, and researchers from half a dozen species. And now they were just…gone. No warning, no explanation, no _reason_ for it at all. It was devastation on a level she couldn't even comprehend, let alone deal with. She'd never get to laugh or collaborate or see them ever again. She wouldn't even get to say goodbye. Almost as if he were reading her mind, the doctor spoke up.

"I can arrange for you to see them, if you'd like." Bones said gruffly. "You could get some closure, talk to them one more time."

"Thank you. I'd like that." Kizri said softly. She laid her hand over his, once again feeling the unique sensation of the man's energy. Part silky and part rough, both dark and rich, like water-logged sand slipping through one's fingers. Most energy she felt was vaporous and only a wisp, passing over her skin like a ghost, both there and not. His energy was so substantial in comparison and the weight of it on her skin was almost breathtaking. She looked up at the man, who had paused in his scan. His blue eyes met her brown ones for only a second before the moment was lost. She smiled gently as he cleared his throat and proceeded with his duties.

_The entity observed the interaction, its curiosity piqued. _


	4. Closer

**Disclaimer: you know the drill, people.**

**Sorry for the long(ish) wait between updates. I'm taking a few classes and getting used to homework again :) Please read and review! The muses are being forced at this point and reviews make them more willing!**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The long hours in sickbay stretched endlessly as test after test was run on her. She followed Doctor McCoy's orders robotically – 'sit up', 'lay down', 'open your mouth', 'give me your arm'. Her body was on auto-pilot as her mind sucked up every ounce of energy she had, thinking herself in circles. Part of Kizri was desperate for an answer to her survival, to know the reason why she lived while so many others died. But another, equal part was trying in vain to let go of the deep pull of curiosity. There was no answer to this and she was just wasting her time trying to think of one. Oh, what her mother would say if she could see Kizri now! Expending her divine energy on something as unproductive and pointless as human curiosity! Her mother would pull out the old Nozomi adage, 'acceptance is the root of real strength' and then scold her for devoting her energy to an unsolvable mystery instead of just accepting the situation. But acceptance was unthinkable now; to blindly accept that she lived where 216 others had died, to brush it off as a mystery and then put it out of her head seemed…wrong, somehow. Irreverent of the dead, callous, sacrilegious even.

Kizri went back and forth, at one moment thinking 'you must let this go' and the next hearing a rebel cry of 'No!' sound in her mind. Just when she thought of grabbing her head and shaking it to silence the bickering human and Trill within her, Doctor McCoy gently grabbed her chin to steady her as he shone some bright light in her eyes. She didn't wince or flinch. Instead, automatically and involuntarily, she exhaled long and slow and relaxed under his touch. She indulged in the delicious friction of his energy sliding over hers, of it seeping into her skin, penetrating all the way to the bone. It was like coming in from a teeth-rattling cold and taking a bite of hot soup, reveling in a warmth that spreads from belly to bone.

Now _this_ kind of pull, her mother would encourage. The pull of one person's energy to another's was entirely natural, unlike the pull of wild curiosity. But it was so strange that she would find herself drawn to him, of all people. She'd briefly seen him interact with his friends and co-workers; he was blunt and sarcastic, gruff and dark, at times grumpy and even mean. He was so different from her, but that was inconsequential. Where humans depended on likeness of personality, the interaction of energy was a much better measure of compatibility. And if what she felt under his touch was any indication, they could form a bond with infinite and lasting dimensions. But how was he to know that? How could she show him? He couldn't feel her energy in return. So what was left? Only physicality and personality.

He had a very masculine presence and physically, he was quite attractive. He had thick, dark hair and sharp, blue eyes. She found herself staring and counting off his pleasurable features. Full lips. Tanned skin. Toned muscles. Tall. Broad-shouldered. And his hands fascinated her: large, strong and calloused, but gentle in his ministrations. Even his perma-scowl was oddly fitting. It would have looked ridiculous on anyone else, but it looked natural when affixed to his face.

As for their personalities, well…that would come with time.

"I don't think I've heard anyone mention your name, Doctor McCoy." Kizri said, her voice low and warm.

"People don't use my name. It's McCoy or Doctor." McCoy muttered distractedly, concentrating on his test readouts.

"That's rather impersonal, don't you think?" When it was clear he was too absorbed in his work to respond, she lay her hand gently on his arm. "Please. I'd like to know."

He looked at where her hand was touching him and then to her eyes. There was a pause between them, which neither could describe. But in the end, McCoy just huffed and shook her off, saying, "Leonard. My name's Leonard."

"That's a wonderful name, very strong." she informed him, trying not to be bothered of his casual disregard. "'Linard' means 'connection' in Trill."

"Hmm." he contributed, clearly not interested.

As she stared at the hard angles of his face and the blatant indifference in his eyes, her throat began to tighten and her eyes grew moist. Somehow, she'd managed to divert herself with the thought of this enigma of a man. She hadn't been thinking of tragedy or death, of coolant or mystery. She'd briefly escaped that reality by clinging to the warm-sand-feeling of him, but he wasn't letting her lose herself in the fantasy. He started to circle the tri-corder around her head again, when she grabbed his wrist.

"Stop. Please." she ordered gently, her voice shaking. Finally, he put down the tri-corder and really looked at her. "I've lost my friends, Leonard. My colleagues, my home, my job and my cause, I've lost it all in one day. I have no purpose, I have nothing to hang on to. I'm lost. Just…please, talk with me. I can't…I can't handle everything at once. If I think about what's happened, even a little, I'll think about everything and drive myself crazy. I need…"

"…a distraction." McCoy finished, grimacing. "Look, I'm not the best guy to help you ditch reality. Maybe I can get your brother in here…"

"No!" Kizri insisted. "Just…tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to know?" McCoy said, pulling himself up next to her on the biobed.

Kizri delicately raised her shoulder in a shrug. "Everything. Why did you become a doctor?"

Bones gave a half smile, looking down at their feet vaguely, more like he was looking into the past. "I was at a ball game when I was fifteen. It was a great game, fourth game of the 339th World Series being held in Cairo. I was so absorbed in the game that I just kept shoving popcorn into my mouth, eyes practically glued to the infield. Moscorro was up to bat for the Yankees and he cracked the ball so hard it split in two. I took a huge breath, so I could start cheering, but popcorn went down my windpipe and I started choking. I was freaking out, my dad was freaking out, I thought I was gonna die. But some guy in the row behind me jumped down and started giving me the Heimlich Maneuver. I spit up the popcorn and was fine, but that night when I went to bed, I couldn't stop thinkin' about it. It seemed ridiculous that I _had_ a body, but didn't know how it worked or how to fix it when something was wrong. It's like ownin' a car when you don't know how to maintain it; you always have to rely on someone else to repair it for you and I didn't like that. After that, I couldn't get enough of anatomy and medical journals. And now, here I am. Doctor McCoy."

"That's a great story." Kizri beamed. "It says a lot about you."

"So what about you, huh? Why do you do what you do?" McCoy asked. He would never just ask a question to be polite; he was genuinely interested.

"Well, I started out as a teacher. I got my teaching certificate on Trill when I was sixteen and taught there for a couple of years. But then, I got curious about my human heritage and my father, so I travelled to Earth. I went back to school, to qualify as a teacher there, and I was amazed at the differences between our education systems. When I first started school on Earth, I thought it would be easy, thought there were only so many ways one could teach literature or math. But I was so wrong! It got me thinking about how much we could learn from each other and how much we could improve our own systems, just by looking at a different way. That's when I got the idea for I-SEC. I drafted a proposal and took it to my government and the Federation Council. At that time, Trill was still considering membership to the Federation, but hadn't yet joined. My project was the first joint effort between Trill and the Federation. Trill ended up joining, the Federation got a new ally, and I got my organization up and running. We've done everything from evaluations to overhauls for dozens of planets and governments."

"That's pretty ambitious, considering you were so young when you started." Bones pointed out, nonetheless impressed.

But she waived away the praise. "It was a step that had to be taken and it would have come about whether it was me or someone else who proposed it."

There was the lull in the conversation. Kizri didn't want this to end and wasn't ready to face reality yet. "What do you do when you are not in sickbay?"

Bones shrugged. "These days? I spend most of my free time with my daughter."

Kizri brightened. "You have a daughter? Tell me about her."

"She's three years old; tiny little thing. Sweetest kid you'll ever meet…" Bones went on, describing his daughter. When retelling the funny moments only a child can produce, Kizri laughed with him. When sharing the more difficult times, she covered his hand with her own. She coaxed him along with insightful questions and had him grinning at her own stories of Keio. He admitted, even vented his fears of fatherhood, to which she just listened. He appreciated that in her. Most were quick to reassure him with platitudes or just brush off his concerns, but he was finally allowed to let them all spill out without interruption. It was actually a little unnerving, how she got him to speak so easily. He would try to shut himself up, but just a touch on the arm from her or an understanding, expectant look and he was off again. When he was done, when every fear or doubt was now out in the open and hanging in the air around him, he got one final shock when Kizri wrapped her arms around him in a strong hug. Even more shocking, he let her. Sure, he may not have known what to do with his arms, letting them just hang limply by his side. And he may have held himself stiffly against her, still shocked by the gesture. But, he let her hug him nonetheless. When she finally withdrew, her smile was so…accepting. She accepted his vulnerability and his moment of weakness and doubt. He had the notion that he should feel something about that, but the whole experience was just too surreal.

"It can be difficult at times, the father-daughter relationship." Kizri intoned. "I should know, I've been a daughter. And a father, for that matter."

Bones looked at her strangely and she gave a lop-sided smile, gesturing to her belly. "Joined, remember? Three of Nyaal's previous hosts were men and all were fathers. I can remember sitting with Jezem's only daughter. He had five boys and only one girl. She had the bad habit of sucking her thumb, but when that little girl gave me a toothy grin, thumb still stuck in her mouth, I would just melt. Or rather, he would."

She smiled at him and he smirked back before looking at their dangling feet again. Finally, after long moments of contemplation, he hopped down and turned to Kizri. "Are you ready now? To say goodbye?"

Her smile faded, but she nodded.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Bones watched as Kizri glided through the rows of coffins, her pale blue dress flowing behind her in the slight breeze created by her movements. Her feet were bare on the cold metal flooring and she stepped fluidly, in a gentle roll of heel-arch-toe, heel-arch-toe. He couldn't help the way his eyes raked over her as she moved. She did not have the Amazonian stature of Lana, or the delicate frame of Bonnie, or the athletic body of Lieutenant Uhura. She was of medium height and build. Her chest was more ample and her waist, smaller and more tapered. Her hips flared, creating a curvaceous, hourglass figure. Her eyes were very light brown and her hair was nearly black. Her skin was pale, nearly iridescent in some lighting, causing her spots to stand out against her skin. He couldn't help but wonder how far those spots stretched beneath the fabric of her dress. Her hands seemed like they were always in motion, reaching out to touch something or to run her long, delicate fingers over a new surface. At the moment, one of her hands was reaching out to touch the polished wood of every casket she passed and the other held Keio's hand as she guided him through the cargo bay. She spoke to him in a voice so quiet and low that it was nearly absorbed by the hum of the ship. Still, Bones was able to make out every word and he almost regretted his decision to come with her. Or rather, his insistence.

Even after the extensive tests he'd run on her, he still couldn't find any reason behind her miraculous survival. It gnawed at him. Technically, there was no reason to keep her in sickbay anymore since she was in perfect health, but he was incapable of letting this mystery go. He staunchly refused to examine any other motive for recommending to the Captain that she stay for another 24 hours of observation. Jim had left the decision to him, since he was the doctor and he had, unsurprisingly, agreed with himself. He told her he would observe her for another day or so, just to be on the safe side. So naturally, when Kizri decided it was time to say goodbye to her fallen friends, he insisted on accompanying her. Part of the reason was he wanted to be there and support her. She had accepted and lent her strength to him in a difficult moment and returning the favor was least he could do. Also, if some unusual behavior or symptom were to surface, he wanted to see it first hand. Odd, but he honestly couldn't tell which reason had greater influence on his desire to join her.

But so far, nothing medically relevant had presented itself and he was left feeling like an intruder. He refused to be uncomfortable around something as natural as death, but it was their reaction to it that had him shifting restlessly in the corner. Kizri had instructed Keio to feel the caskets as well. The child, sensing the solemn nature of their outing, had reined in his natural bubbly energy and was sliding his fingertips reverently along the wood. So the two moved slowly, performing what he could only assume was part of the Nozomi death rites. Finally, after the last coffin had been touched, Kizri began another tour around the cargo bay, this time just talking with Keio.

"Tell me what you see in the energy, my son." Kizri said lightly, swinging his hand gently in hers.

Keio looked around, seeing things Bones could not, and spoke in a child's imitation of seriousness. "The walls sparkle here. A lot more than in sickbay or Uncle Hikaru's room."

"Is it the ship's energy that you see?" Kizri said, a small smile on her lips. Bones found himself smiling at the sight. It was the smile of an adult who already knew the answer, but took great pride in their child finding the answer for themselves.

Keio looked harder and eventually tugged at Kizri's hand until they were standing right at the bulkhead. Keio pressed his face into the wall. He stood there for a few moments, face scrunched up in concentration. When he finally pulled away, Kizri continued their stroll and Keio answered.

"Some of it. But the ship's energy doesn't jump around as much."

"You mean it vibrates at a lower level." Kizri both asked and stated.

"Yeah!" Keio agreed, nodding his head. "But lots of the sparkles here move a lot faster than the ship's."

"Are they coming from the wood boxes?" Kizri murmured, a hint of sadness in her tone.

"No. Nothing's coming from the wood boxes." Keio said.

"Then where is all that other energy coming from?"

"Mommeeeee, I don't know." Keio whined. "Can't you just tell me?"

Kizri laughed. "Remember when we were playing blocks in our quarters and you wanted to build a tower as tall as mine? I tried to show you how, but they kept falling?"

"And then I learneded it all by myself!" Keio perked up, grinning. "And when you came home, you saw my great big tower and it was even taller than yours and I didn't need anyone's help!"

"Exactly." Kizri smiled down on Keio. "Things are so much better when you learn them all by yourself. So concentrate, my love. Where is the extra energy coming from?"

Keio scrunched up his face again, thinking very hard. Eventually, he looked up at his mother and guessed, "People?"

"Very good, Keio!" Kizri praised. "What people? Is it coming from the people in here – you, me and Doctor McCoy?"

"No." Keio shook his head soundly.

"Then who?"

"People on the ship!" Keio blurted, happy that he figured it out. But his face fell into a picture of concentration again. "But why?"

Kizri had been a teacher for many years and had long since learned when to ask questions and when to answer them. Her son had come a long way in his understanding of the energy today, but the rest was beyond him for the moment. She kneeled down at her son's level and cupped his face in her hands. "The people on this ship are devoting a lot of their energy to this cargo bay. That's why it's sparkling so much."

"But why?"

"Because something happened and the people on this ship are very sad about it. They are thinking about it, whether they know it or not, and those thoughts carry tiny bits of energy. That energy has focused here, because all these wooden boxes are what's making them sad."

Keio ran his fingers absentmindedly over one of the coffins. "What's in the boxes?" he asked quietly.

Kizri's eyes clouded and a tear slipped down her cheek. Her throat tightened uncomfortably, but she smiled reassuringly at her son even as he wiped her tear away with his little hand. "We had lots of friends on I-SEC, didn't we? Moro, Megan, Vrena, Prelzetani…so many friends. But the energy that you saw in them, it doesn't get to be with their bodies anymore. We won't get to see their faces again or touch their hands or hear their voices."

"So, they're gone?" Keio asked confusedly.

Kizri gave a watery laugh. "Oh no, baby, they're not gone. They've rejoined with the energy of the universe. They've become a part of that hum you hear and they're mixed in with all of the colors you see. You may not see them as they were, but they're still here."

Keio brightened up. "Then we don't need to be sad!"

Kizri's smile faltered somewhat, but reformed itself in a gentle, resigned tilt of the lips. "Exactly. We don't need to be sad."

"Okay!" he chirped, shrugging. "Hey, can we go back to sickbay? Doctor McCoy promised to let me help take care of Bonnie and Baby before they have to go."

Kizri nodded, but Bones could see Keio's easy acceptance of the situation had unsettled her. Nonetheless, she took her son by the hand and made her way over to him. "Thank you for this. We both needed to come."

"Don't mention it." Bones said, pushing off the wall and coming to her side. "Besides, it was very…educational."

Kizri chuckled softly as they made their way into the ship's corridors. "I realize our way can be somewhat unnerving for outsiders. I hope you weren't uncomfortable."

Bones was about to respond when a chirp went off on his communicator. It was Jim. "Bones, we're having a staff meeting in fifteen minutes about what we've found in I-SEC's computer banks. Bring Kizri too, we'll need her help."

"Understood." Bones replied. Looking back at Kizri, his eyebrows furrowed. "You up for a staff meeting?"

"I'll help any way I can." Kizri admitted. "No offence to your sanctum sanctorum, but sickbay gets old pretty quickly."

Bones grinned. "None taken." Bones then took out his communicator and made arrangements for Nurse Chapel to look after Keio. She was kind enough to watch his daughter in her off hours sometimes and was delighted to have a friend for Joanna to play with. They dropped Keio off and made their way to the bridge.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"I'll cut straight to the chase." Jim said, as the last person took their seat. He shifted his gaze to Kizri and he said plainly, "We've been trying for two days to make sense of your filing system, but we can't make heads or tails of it. We've been in contact with the Vulcans and they need the research you have for them immediately. They wanted me to inform you how pleased they are that you and Keio survived the accident and also, ask for your help in implementing the overhaul."

"I'd be delighted to help!" Kizri said, ecstatic at the thought of carrying on I-SEC's work.

"Tell us what you've been working on." Jim instructed, giving her the floor.

"I've been working with the Vulcans for about 18 months, with a few contacts in particular. I offered I-SEC's services shortly after New Vulcan was established and since then, I've drafted several proposals for their review. Each describes a different, but equally applicable system of education that would adapt itself to their new circumstances and be much more effective than the previous methods. About two months ago, they chose one. Actually, they chose the riskiest and most drastic one, but I stand behind their decision. We were going to start a full-scale overhaul next month."

"What type of education system have they decided to implement?" Spock queried.

Kizri took a deep breath and blew it out, somehow thinking he wouldn't understand. "One of the proposals I drafted included genetic re-sequencing techniques used by a species called the Brenai. They have incorporated a sort of genetic code for basic, time-released knowledge. As the body achieves a new level of physical development, a sequence of genes will be activated to release specific knowledge, such as basic arithmetic, the ability to read and write, and so on. What used to be ten years of elementary education can now be condensed into three."

Spock sat stiffly in his chair, his jaw clenching. "That is a very dangerous and unnecessary undertaking."

"I'm not done." Kizri said, bracing herself. "There are…cultural assumptions that have to be challenged in the face of extinction, many of them having to do with education. For example, a young Vulcan must continue his education until a certain…biological event takes place." Kizri shot Spock a loaded look and his eyes lit up with understanding. As Spock thought about his own culture, he realized that this 'biological event' to which Kizri was referring played a part in many aspects of his society. Vulcans were not considered true adults until the time of their first Pon Farr. It generally occurred between 30-35 years of age, until which time, the Vulcan would still be enrolled in higher education programs. He may continue after, if he so chooses, but he may not stop before than that time. Spock appreciated Kizri's discretion when describing that particular cultural taboo. The Pon Farr was not to be discussed with outsiders. As Kizri continued, Spock listened attentively. "The proposal I drafted suggested that, if the time of that biological event were reprogrammed for an earlier age, in concert with the reduced timeline for completing one's education, then a new generation could come earlier and they would therefore repopulate faster."

Spock was trying not to let his anger show, trying not to let his body shake. "That is illogical." he said, an almost dangerous undertone to his words.

Kizri nodded, understanding his apprehension. Many would share it. "How so?" she asked, giving him a chance to express his concerns.

"You are not just changing our education system. A system which, by the way, has existed for millennia without interruption or need for change. No, you are proposing a rewiring of my species. You will change how we learn, how we grow, our passage from adolescence to adulthood. You will change us so fundamentally, we will no longer be Vulcan!" Spock finished, his nostrils flaring with unexpressed rage.

"Species that don't change, die, Mr. Spock." she said softly, yet with a blunt honesty in her words. Spock drew back as though he had been slapped. "I would rather change what it means to be Vulcan, than have there be no Vulcans at all. And the elders of your society share that opinion. I gave them other, less drastic options. But this is the course they have chosen, for the survival and continuation of your species. I do not question that, for it is only logical that they fight for survival by any means at their disposal."

Spock remained silent until giving a short nod. "I apologize for my outburst, Ms. Nyaal."

"Please, call me Kizri." she smiled. "And it was hardly an outburst. You are Vulcan, after all."

"Half-Vulcan, actually." he said, his eyes shooting up to hers. "Half-Vulcan and half-human."

Her lips parted slightly as she sucked in a breath. They locked eyes and immediately, there was a bond formed between them. Just that small piece of information gave them knowledge of each other, of their lives and struggles, that no one else could possibly understand. Their cultures of origin, Trill and Vulcan, were as different as they could possibly be. But they still _knew_ what the other had experienced: the isolation, the taunts, the feeling of not belonging anywhere, not even in the hybrid bodies they were born into, at times. It was a revelation of staggering proportions, to find someone, anyone, who really understood.

They continued to stare at each other, until Jim cleared his throat. They both snapped back to awareness. "Kizri, about that filing system…"

"Oh! Yes." Kizri said, shaking her head slightly. "My computer specialist was Razerian. Their means of organizing information is extremely efficient, just rather foreign if you're not used to it. If I could have access to the computers, I could compile all of the data pertinent to New Vulcan and transmit it to my contact on the Council of Elders."

"Granted." Jim nodded. "Since she's in sickbay for the moment, get her set up on your computer, Bones."

Bones nodded and they were dismissed.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

It took Kizri nearly four hours to gather all of the necessary data, but finally she was ready to transmit. She opened a channel on McCoy's computer to her contact on Vulcan. He'd been invaluable in the process, providing her with insights into Vulcan society that had aided her work immensely. In addition, he had become a dear friend.

Finally, his face appeared on her view screen and she smiled wide. Holding up her right hand, she gave him the Vulcan gesture of greeting. "Peace and long life, Prime."

His long, wizened face crinkled in a suppressed smile and he returned the gesture. "Live long and prosper, Kizri. I was extremely gratified to learn that you and Keio remain in good health and are doing well."

"And I'm extremely gratified to be working with you once again, my friend." she smiled.

_As the two launched into a probing discussion of the Vulcan education system, the entity within her withdrew his awareness from the conversation to reflect on the changes of the past two days. This environment was more ideal for his purposes than any he could have imagined. He had chosen Kizri as his host for a very specific reason, but there were only a few humans on I-SEC. Here, they were surrounded by the fascinating species and he was learning a great deal. The doctor, for instance. A stranger human, he'd never encountered. Great strength, but greater doubt. Persistent honesty, but not honest with himself with regards to his attraction to Kizri. Such wonderfully complex mating rituals. If the desires of Kizri's subconscious mind were any indication, he may be lucky enough to witness this concept of 'romance' first hand. And the Vulcan! Another hybrid; absolutely fascinating! The mind of a Vulcan and the heart of a human. Such a difficult balance! No doubt Kizri would encounter him again and from the instantaneous bond that had formed in the staff meeting, they would have much to discuss. _

_He could feel a shift, being on this ship. The time was soon approaching for his mission here to begin. _


	5. Spark

**Disclaimer: not mine.**

**Sorry for the long wait, but here it is! Enjoy and please tell me what you think! I love to get your suggestions for where you want to see this going. Read and Review!**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

It was another two hours before Kizri's conversation with Prime came to a close. She was exhausted, but content and satisfied. Keeping I-SEC alive, delving into the thick of the politics of it all, being useful to a cause she loved, it gave her an incredible burst of hope and happiness. Already, plans for renovation were whirling through her head. She would have to find a new location, of course; she couldn't ever go back to that station after what had happened. But she and Keio would need a new home. Maybe the new I-SEC would be planet-side. Keio had spent his whole life in space thus far and it would be nice to give him an open, natural setting to run around in.

Thinking of her son, Kizri smiled gently and made her way to Nurse Chapel's quarters. The woman had a soft, welcoming energy to her and Kizri had liked her immediately. She was kind enough to watch Keio and Joanna while she and Leonard were in the staff meeting, but she'd certainly imposed on Nurse Chapel long enough. Kizri pressed the button outside of her quarters and it was only a moment before the doors opened. Nurse Chapel was affixing an earring and smiling, already dressed in her white medical uniform.

"Kizri! How nice to see you!" the nurse smiled wide. She stepped aside and motioned for Kizri to enter. "Please, come in! Sit down."

"Thank you, Nurse Chapel." Kizri smiled, entering and letting the soft, breezy quality of the woman's energy wash over her. She gently lowered herself onto the sofa.

Nurse Chapel waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, please, call me Christine!"

"Christine, then." Kizri repeated softly. "I wanted to thank you for watching Keio while I was working."

"It was no trouble at all." Christine reassured her. "He and Joanna got along so well that they entertained themselves for the most part."

"That's wonderful to hear!" Kizri beamed. "My son rarely has the chance to play with others his own age. I'm sure it made his day."

"Joanna's, too! A sweeter little girl, you've never met, but sometimes it's painfully obvious how lonely she is." Christine shook her head sadly, but realizing what she'd said, hastened to add, "Not that Doctor McCoy isn't a great father!"

Kizri nodded understandingly. "Sometimes a child needs a friend their own age."

Christine sighed in relief. "Exactly."

"By the way, where are the children?" Kizri asked, looking around the quarters.

"Doctor McCoy picked them up a couple of hours ago. He said you were still working on a project, so he offered to take them back to his quarters." Christine said, grinning. "Joanna was so excited to show Keio her toys."

Kizri smiled back. "Well, I better relieve Leonard. My son can be quite exhausting."

"He is a bundle of energy." Christine agreed. "And so happy and loving! The first time he saw me, he hugged me and said that I had very beautiful energy, whatever that means!"

Kizri chuckled and looked at the woman across from her. Her son was right, Christine was a beautiful person both inside and out. "You know, this ship is very lucky to have you, Christine. And Leonard is as well, to have such a kind person watching over his daughter."

Christine blushed under the praise. "Thank you, Kizri! I just wish he and Joanna could stay on Enterprise."

Kizri frowned. "Why wouldn't they?"

"They're not supposed to be here now. Star Fleet wanted to give Doctor McCoy a different assignment after he got Joanna, but Captain Kirk wouldn't hear of him leaving. It's only a matter of time, though. Joanna will have to start school in a year or two and then he'll have no choice." Christine shrugged. Looking at the clock in the living room, she jumped up. "I'm sorry, Kizri, I have to leave for Sickbay! My shift starts in five minutes."

"Oh! Of course!" Kizri got up as well. "Once again, thank you for watching Keio."

"Anytime." Christine smiled.

Kizri left, the doors closing with a soft puff of air behind her, and made her way to Leonard's quarters. It made her slightly nervous, going to his rooms. Space was incredibly sacred and when a person inhabited the same space long enough, the very walls and air that surrounded them started to change and adapt to their presence. Entering a person's dwelling among the Nozomi was an honor reserved only for family and the closest of friends. She knew it was different with humans and tried to treat it as casually as they did, but it still felt like an imposition. It felt odd enough being welcomed into Christine's quarters so openly, but at least the thought didn't make her nervous. But entering Leonard's quarters, being surrounded and enveloped by a concentrated dose of _his_ energy, _his_ personality, it seemed…intimate.

Standing outside his rooms, she could feel the first hints of his influence. The waves of energy pulsing from the doors alone were enough to make her slightly breathless. She pressed the call button outside his door, hearing his rich voice calling her to enter from the other side. She stepped through the doors and her knees nearly buckled from the onslaught of sensations. The air around her was a living, breathing entity of night. It pulsated around her in perfect time to a sultry song playing softly in the room. Blues, she recalled, the music was called Blues. The room radiated a kind of heat, coming from everywhere and nowhere. It surrounded her without a specific source, penetrating her nostrils and mouth, seeping into her skin. It was an ecstatic pleasure akin to being surrounded by the body heat of another, feeling their skin cloak yours with dark sensuality. The metal bulkheads of the room seemed to vibrate like a bass line, its currents running through the deck plating: to her feet, sliding up her legs and making them shake in response, and finally hitting her spine like a bolt of lightning. Her whole body became a lightning rod, absorbing every ounce of energy that this room had acquired from its occupant. She could feel the individual atoms of the room being sucked from the bulkheads and the air, swirling around her and rushing into her, each with the impact of an electric shock. It was all too much to bear. It felt like she was shaking…breaking…exploding from the inside. But then, it stopped and all she could feel were the hands. His hands.

Bones watched as Kizri entered the room, her breathing uneven. She paused, just inside the room, a light gasp escaping her. Her eyes fluttered closed and then her body seemed to shake. Bones' eyebrows furrowed in concern. The tremors racking her body got steadily stronger and a quiet cry escaped her. Maybe it was just him and his dirty, dirty mind, but it sounded vaguely sexual. He swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling dry. It was more than a little erotic, watching her shudder and hearing the occasional moan escape her. But when the shaking of her body didn't cease and it seemed less like a pleasurable shiver and more like the beginnings of a seizure, his feet unfroze and he rushed toward her. He settled his hands on her shoulders to steady her before moving one hand to her face and forcing her eyes to his.

"Kizri? Kizri, you okay?" Bones called to her, tapping her cheek lightly.

To Kizri, it seemed like the world had stopped with the feel of his hands on her body. The atoms around her were static as if frozen in time. No more swirling, no more invasion; just peace and stillness. What she'd experienced…it was unreal. She knew what it was, of course. But Ecstatic Recognition was just a myth! It was an event told of in Nozomi fairytales and written about in romance novels! Like human notions of love-at-first-sight and soul mates, it was a mystical and unknowable connection between two people. Anytime she'd read about it, admittedly in those silly romance novels, it was described as one person's energy resonating completely in-tune with another's. The rush of one's energy finally encountering its counterpoint was said to be at once blissful and terrifying in its intensity. As she opened her eyes and was confronted with his dark blue orbs, her breath caught in her throat and she felt paralyzed. No, there could be no denial of what this was.

Upon seeing her eyes open, Leonard gave her a small, concerned smile. "Hey, you alright there?"

Kizri had to shake off the spell his eyes cast on her body. "Yes. Sorry, yes, I'm fine."

"What happened?" he asked, guiding her to the sofa with a firm hand on her back and sitting them both down. "Is it related to what happened on the station?"

"No, definitely not." Kizri shook her head soundly. "It's just…being in your space…I was overwhelmed, I guess."

"Overwhelmed by what?"

"Your energy is very strong here." Kizri spoke quietly. She was debating about whether or not to tell him what she felt, what it meant. But looking into his eyes, as beautiful as they were, and seeing only professional concern, she somehow thought that would be ill-advised.

"Not quite sure what that means." Leonard shrugged. "This whole energy thing that you and Keio have, it's…different."

Kizri chuckled. "To some humans, I suppose. But even on Earth, there are cultures that have recognized the same flow of energy. Auras, chakras, chi, prana…it all refers to the same thing."

"But to see it, like it's floatin' in the air around us, it's strange to think about. Like there's a whole other side to the world that I'm blind to. And when Keio was helping Bonnie in sickbay, whatever he was doing had a significant effect on her."

Kizri beamed. "My son has a rare gift, even among the Nozomi. We can see the energy, feel it, but Keio can do so much more. He will no doubt seek you out because of it."

"Me?" Leonard asked, shocked. "What for?"

"People like Keio not only see the energy, they can interact with it. They can shape, manipulate, and influence the energy with remarkable effects. Historically, people with Keio's talents are intrinsically drawn to the healing arts, where their skills can be honed and where they are most needed. His father was a healer; very pure energy."

There was a squeal from Joanna's room, followed by a burst of laughter. Both adults smiled at the sound, but Leonard's faded in favor of curiosity. "Where is Keio's father?"

Kizri drew back in surprise. "I haven't the slightest idea. On Trill, I assume. Most likely in the capitol city."

It was his turn to be surprised. "You don't know where your son's father is?"

Kizri shrugged. "Not a clue. We were only together for the Festival."

Leonard looked skeptical, saying flatly, "Festival. Huh. What kind of festival, exactly?"

"The Festival of Eternal Energy. It is a yearly celebration on Trill, not just for the Nozomi – though it is from our culture. It's a time when the whole planet celebrates the energy in and around us. Most celebrate by finding a stranger with whom they feel connected and spending the night together. It was so with Keio's father and I. We spent our time together and then parted ways. I haven't seen him since, but he gave me a very precious gift. It is said that children conceived during the Festival are especially blessed, but I have always felt like the lucky one." Kizri sighed, remembering that special night.

Leonard was quiet too, stunned by the thought of an entire planet indulging in a free-love philosophy for one night. Must be quite a party. Hers was a very different culture, guided by sensation, vibration and connection. It would be so simple to find someone if it was just a matter of feeling their energy and how it interacted with yours. In his experience, love for humans was just a jumbled mess of doubt and over-analyzing, loss of self and slanted perceptions, and a constant tug-of-war between her needs and his. Or at least, all of his relationships were. The greatness of love…please. It was pain and masochism, the only socially acceptable form of insanity. In fact –

Leonard's eyes snapped back into focus and went wide as he felt Kizri's lips connect with his. Her lips were soft and firm against his, first cradling his bottom lip between hers and then slanting them more fully over his mouth. After a moment of shock, the heat and pressure of her mouth melding against his relaxed his rigid body without his conscious thought; his eyes fell closed and he couldn't resist kissing her back. His lips slid across hers and she clutched the front of his shirt, drawing their bodies closer together. She parted her lips and he took full advantage, plunging into her mouth and groaning. She tasted like berries, light and sweet. But when she tugged at his shirt, drawing him on top of her as she stretched out on the sofa, he ripped himself from her and quickly retreated to the opposite end of the couch.

"What the hell was that?" he snapped, running a hand over his mouth.

She smiled quizzically. "That was a kiss, Leonard."

"I know _what_ it was." he said exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. "What I don't get is why ya did it!"

"I wanted to." she said simply. "And your reaction tells me you wanted to as well."

"That's not an answer! 'I wanted to' isn't an answer!" he sputtered.

"I like you and I wanted to, so I did." Kizri explained cautiously, as if talking to a slow child.

"Well…well…" Leonard continued to bluster. "Don't do it again!"

She laughed lightly and he scowled. She was smiling at him like his rejection was adorable when he was dead serious! She slid over to his end of the couch and he backed up as far as the arm of the sofa would let him. It wasn't enough, though, because she still leaned over and gave him a lingering kiss on the lips. He didn't kiss back, but he didn't quite have the will-power to withdraw, so he sat there frozen until she finally drew back and grinned. Getting up, she crooned through the door of Joanna's room.

"Keio!" she called. The boy came barreling out of the room, Joanna hanging on for dear life as he dragged her by the hand into the room.

"Mommy!" he shouted, hugging her leg. "This is my new bestest friend Joanna! Joanna, this is my Mommy!"

Kizri kneeled down and gathered Joanna into her arms. She whispered in the little girl's ear, but Leonard couldn't make out what was being said. But his daughter was holding onto Kizri tightly and Joanna kissed her on the cheek when they parted, giving her one of those sweet, open smiles. Kizri took Keio by the hand.

"Say goodbye, my love, and say thank you to Doctor McCoy for looking after you." Kizri instructed.

"Bye, Joanna! Bye, Mister doctor!" Keio said, waving enthusiastically. "Mommy, can I play with Joanna again? Pleeease?"

"Leonard, since I have nothing to do on this ship, I'd be happy to look after Joanna next time you're on duty." Kizri said, a light smile on her face.

Joanna tugged on Leonard's pant leg. His heart melted when he looked down at her, her thumb stuck in her mouth and her big blue eyes begging. "Please, Daddy."

He nodded and rolled his eyes at himself – whipped by a three-year-old. "Sure, darlin'."

"Yay, thanks Daddy!" Joanna said, launching herself at Keio and hugging him tightly. The little boy, only a year or so older, patted Joanna on the back and said very maturely, "Don't worry, Joanna, we'll play soon."

Kizri led Keio to the door and turned back just before leaving. Looking at Leonard, with a small smile of promise on her face, she said softly, "Until next time." And then they were gone.

"Okay, squirt, time for bed." Leonard said, picking up his daughter and taking her to her room. After the nightly ritual of whining and negotiating from four stories and a song down to two stories and no song, Joanna was finally asleep. With Leonard left alone with his thoughts, he finally turned them toward Kizri and their kiss. She liked him. For some unknown, bizarre reason, she liked him. She had wanted to kiss him, and boy, did she. Now, she'd be watching his daughter and they'd be spending more time together. She wasn't the type to give up on what she wanted and – because of what he could only assume was incredibly poor judgment on her part – she wanted him. She kissed him. She tasted like berries.

Damn it. He was in trouble.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Her son was sound asleep in the guest quarters they had been given, but Kizri found herself wandering through the sleeping ship in the dead of night. And she'd ended up here, in the mess hall. The lights were dark and the room was abandoned. She'd been drawn to the windows of the room and had been staring out for who knows how long. They were still at the station, finishing up the data transfer, but they were scheduled to leave in the morning. They were supposed to return to Starbase 12, to drop off her and Keio, but there was a diplomatic situation on Kema II and the Kemian government had specifically requested Captain Kirk's services. Afterword, they would be escorting her to the starbase, but in the meantime, she was happy to be staying. More time with Lana and Hikaru; she'd barely seen them between her medical situation and I-SEC's work for the Vulcans. More time for Keio and Joanna to play and have a friend their own age. And more time to spend with Leonard.

She hugged herself and sighed as she stared out the starport, her vision overwhelmed by the great nebula. In all her travels, she'd never seen anything more captivating or more soothing. She would often stare at it for hours when working on a particularly difficult problem on I-SEC. She would miss it. It seemed like its energy had the ability to snake beyond the borders of the nebula, through space and bulkheads and straight into her when she was most troubled. The Toluzians called this nebula the Arms of God; it seemed fitting and comforting.

Nothing in particular was troubling her thoughts tonight, though Leonard's behavior did puzzle her. The attraction was there, the energetic compatibility was there, so why was he holding back? Was it something about her that put him off? Or something about himself that he didn't want exposed? So many questions! Humans made things so complicated! And she didn't know whether being part human helped or not. She was part human, so the instincts that drove humans were within her. But she didn't understand those impulses, much less follow them! So close, but never quite grasping the full understanding of who she was. It was enough to drive one crazy!

Kizri sighed again, shaking her head at the Arms of God and praying that not just comfort but answers could be found in its depths. She returned to her silent vigil, willing comprehension to stretch forth from the nebula, but turned when the doors of the mess hall opened. Light from the hallway flooded in, along with the unmistakable wail of a newborn infant. Spock entered the room, his daughter high on his shoulder while he patted her back softly. He spotted Kizri next to the window and paused.

"I apologize if I am disturbing you. I did not expect anyone to be here at this hour." He said formally, retreating back toward the door.

"No, please, come join me." Kizri invited him. Spock inclined his head in acceptance of her offer and made his way to the starport. He stopped next to Kizri, gazing out at the nebula. They stayed silent, both reflecting on their thoughts, while Spock's daughter continued to cry. Spock tried adjusting her and changing the pressure and speed of the pats to her back, but the child continued to wail.

"May I?" Kizri asked, motioning to the baby girl. Spock paused, but eventually acquiesced, passing the child to Kizri.

"Her mother needed rest, so I decided to take the child in hopes of settling her. But, as I am new to fatherhood, I have been unsuccessful in getting her to sleep." Spock intoned, watching as Kizri took his daughter in her skilled and sure hands.

"It does take practice." Kizri agreed, tucking the child tightly against her body and simultaneously rocking and bouncing her lightly. "But, lucky for you, between myself and my previous hosts, I have been a parent a dozen times over. It never ceases to amaze me how small they are, though."

"She does seem fragile." Spock admitted. "My wife accuses me of being overly cautious, both with her and the infant."

"Have you chosen a name yet?" Kizri asked, noticing he had yet to refer to the child by a name.

"We are having difficulty in that regard."

"How so?"

"She suggested our daughter be named after my mother, but it is…not the right time for that." Spock said, knowing the pain was too fresh. He couldn't speak that name in reference to his daughter without reliving the pain of losing his mother and the child deserved better than that. "But I have a name in mind, that would satisfy her human and Vulcan heritage."

"May I ask what name?" Kizri asked softly, not wanting to pry.

"I believe the name T'mara would be appropriate. It means 'desert wind' in Vulcan and Tamara is an ancient name on Earth."

"I think it is beautiful." Kizri professed, smiling down at the heavily-blinking child. "It suits her. All of her."

The two lapsed into silence, neither speaking for quite some time and the cries of the infant girl had long since stopped, as she was now sleeping peacefully. Kizri handed the baby back to Spock, maneuvering her into his arms and settling her in the proper position. She rubbed a finger gently on the girl's cheek, smiling down at her. But her smile eventually faded.

"They'll never know, will they?" Kizri asked Spock, not looking up from the baby. "They'll never know how we struggle with our other halves."

"No." Spock rasped slightly, knowing exactly what she meant. Eyes on his daughter's sleeping face, he continued. "She will struggle as well."

"Perhaps not as much. Times are different now and she is not half and half. She is mostly human. Maybe her instincts will not be in conflict."

Spock glanced up at Kizri, seeing a pensive and reflective look on her face. "When you have two very different sets of instincts coursing through your body, conflict is unavoidable."

"One wouldn't think it would be so hard." Kizri gave a sad smile. "One set of instincts agrees with how we were raised. Trill instinct supported by Trill upbringing. Vulcan instinct supported by Vulcan upbringing."

"If I have learned anything from my mother and my time in Star Fleet, it is that humans are truly irrepressible. The same is true for human instinct."

"I know." Kizri frowned. "I can't ever fight the human impulses. They're unpredictable; I never know when they will assert themselves. They makes me crave things that everything else tells me is wrong – my culture, my friends, my family, even my instincts tell me that the instinct is wrong – but sometimes I can't help following."

Spock cleared his throat uncomfortably. This was so personal for a first conversation, but he wanted to jump in even further. He wanted to know…"What do you crave? What does your human side make you long for that you feel you can't have?"

Kizri turned around to stare out the starport. After moments of endless silence, she finally spoke. Or, more appropriately, she broke. Everything she'd ever wanted, but was to afraid to voice came out in a rush. This man truly understood, unlike anyone else, and she couldn't stop herself from taking advantage of that. "Permanence. I want permanence. I want to feel like I belong somewhere, but my culture doesn't even have a concept of home or roots. I want to feel like I belong to _someone_, but the Nozomi believe that monogamy is unnatural. I only want one man, just one man to call mine, to call home. These damn human instincts make me want things. They confuse what I've been taught is truth. And they drove me to violate one of the most sacred principles of my people."

"What did you do?" Spock queried.

"I couldn't give up my son." Kizri's eyes welled up, just remembering. Her mother had been shamed, she had been ostracized and her son rejected by their culture, all because of her decision. "Nozomi mothers give up their children at age three and surrender to the mentality of 'it takes a village'. It is complicated, but the purpose behind it is to expose a child to new points of view by having them live with others. The children are gone for three years before returning to their mother's home, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't give up my son."

"The impulse to protect and raise one's offspring is a primal element of human instinct."

"Yes, it is." Kizri admitted, having struggled against and eventually succumbed to its strong pull. "Having these instincts warring constantly in your head, feeling a part of and yet apart from two very different worlds is…"

"Exhausting." Spock finished.

"Exactly." Kizri nodded and blew out a shaky breath. "What about you? What does it make you crave?"

Spock looked down at his sleeping daughter and opened the flood-gates of his deepest, most suppressed desire. "Expression. I crave expression, but it can never be. I have chosen this way of life and I cannot abandon that. But…"

"But?" Kizri repeated.

"As you said, my daughter is mostly human. If she takes a different path, chooses the human way of life…"

"Then how will she know how you feel, if you don't express it." Kizri nodded, finding that a difficult predicament.

"Yes." Spock said, taken aback by her understanding.

"Children deserve more credit than we give them." Kizri concluded. "She will know from your actions, the way you speak to her, the attention you give her when listening, the support you show for her. Not her decisions, but _her_. She will know."

"I would like if that were so." Spock nodded. "But to be so human and yet surrounded by Vulcans, it is difficult. I know."

"I thought you were the only Vulcan on board." Kizri replied.

"I am, but we cannot stay here. There are no facilities for child care, no schools."

Kizri's body went still. Leonard was in the same position. He would have to leave when Joanna started school, if not sooner. And Spock and Bonnie were both senior officers, keeping irregular hours depending on the crisis at hand. They would not always have time to find child-care, let alone be guaranteed of someone's availability, as everyone else had jobs on board too. It didn't seem right! On a ship, there were so many people, there were bound to be families springing up! But when they did, they were just relegated to shore-duty, as Christine said they had tried to do with Leonard? Members of Star Fleet would lose their homes and support networks and Star Fleet would lose valuable star-ship officers just because they had followed a natural biological urge to procreate? That was absurd!

"Spock, would you keep your family on Enterprise, despite the danger? I mean, would the risk be worth it to you?" Kizri asked, a sense of urgency in her tone.

"Yes." Spock stated unequivocally. "This is my home. I am fond of many of the people on board. If I had the choice, I would want my daughter to grow up around them. I would want her knowledge of the universe to expand day by day with every planet visited and every species encountered. The benefits, in my opinion, far outweigh the risks."

Kizri grinned at him. "I hoped you'd say that. If you'll excuse me, I have a project to work on."

"Of course." Spock said, watching her walk briskly from the room. When the doors had shut behind her, he looked down at his daughter and whispered, "How very odd."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Kizri entered her quarters excitedly. I-SEC had been her idea and her project. She'd been focused on it for so long, but this was something new to sink her teeth into. Something that would help the people she'd come to care about. She had contacts on the Federation Council, who could put her in touch with decision makers in Star Fleet. She nearly squealed in giddy excitement. Turning on the computer in her quarter's, she began to dictate to the computer.

"Computer, draft outline for proposal to Star Fleet Command entitled "Families on Star Fleet Vessels". Create four subsections labeled execution, benefits, resources and long-term. Phase I, Execution…"

_The entity could feel his own energy vibrating faster in response to her excitement. Her mind was such an interesting place, not only for her warm acceptance and gentle persistence. She had a sheer brilliance that many people overlooked because of her almost dreamy personality. But he appreciated her enthusiasm for this project and increased the adrenaline in her system slightly. He worked from the back of her mind, refreshing her neurons and pathways. In the morning she would feel like she had a restful night sleep, despite staying up all night on this new passion of hers. It was telling, how willing she was to sacrifice her time and comfort for the sake of others. He only hoped she would make a similar sacrifice for him. He couldn't imagine anyone else for this role, but he would of course respect her decision. Should she refuse to help, his people would be forced to find another. But anyone else would simply be second best. However, with her affections for the doctor increasing, the call of his species may be too much to consider. She may wish to keep things as simple as possible for the sake of the doctor who, in his humble opinion, was too much of a self-pitying dolt to deserve Kizri in the first place. Humanoid relationships weren't his forte, but he had shared Kizri's experience of the energy in Leonard's quarters. If she wanted Leonard and felt his presence would interfere…he would have to give up his dream for hers. He just hoped it wouldn't come to that._


	6. Showtime

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Star Trek 2009. Don't sue, you won't get much.

This chapter goes out to Sesshomaru's Babydoll, for being my most faithful reviewer! I love hearing your input! Thanks so much!

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Kizri sighed and resisted the urge to rub her temples. Glancing back at the computer screen, she continued to follow the man's argument. "…and there would be a huge issue of liability here, Kizri! Imagine children playing hide-and-seek in the Jeffries tubes, running in and out of engineering and the bridge! And what if, God forbid, the worst should happen? What if a ship were destroyed, taking whole families down! Children, who could have had a safe life planet-side, would be dragged throughout the quadrant and subjected to unknowable dangers and for what? Just so their wander-lusting parents didn't have to give up being on a starship?"

"Why should they have to give it up, Tom?" Kizri asked, keeping her voice calm and even despite her frustration. "You and I both know that star-ship duty is the goal of nearly every Star Fleet cadet. They don't train for four long years to stay on a star base or be relegated to consulate work! They want adventures and challenges that can only be found in the depths of space. And their hard work doesn't stop at the Academy. Once they've been assigned, they work equally hard to be the best and stay the best. But take Enterprise for example. There are 427 people on board; there are bound to be attachments formed and families springing up. But when they choose to fulfill their biological urge to procreate, they are almost punished for it by being forced to give up the life they've built and the career they've work for years to achieve! And Star Fleet loses skilled crewmembers where they are needed the most! Ask any Star Fleet officer and they'd tell you it's worth the risk to them!"

"I'm not denying it's a compelling argument, Kizri." Tom conceded. "But there are issues of safety and infrastructure to consider!"

"And if you would just agree to take my proposal seriously, you would see that those issues are addressed in practical ways! This isn't some fantasy! We could begin implementing this _today_, with just minor changes to existing star ships."

Just then there was a ringing at her door. Putting the transmission on mute for a moment, she called "Come in!" and then reactivated the communication. Leonard came in with Joanna in tow, but didn't make a noise when Kizri put a finger to her lips.

Meanwhile, Tom glanced between Kizri and the PADD in his hands which held a copy of her proposal. Bouncing it lightly off his hand, he finally sighed. "Tell you what, Kizri. I'll read over your proposal and if I feel like the issues that concern me the most have been addressed, I'll recommend it to the Admiralty."

Kizri gave a short squeal and her smile lit up the screen. The older man on the other end of the transmission grinned. "I really appreciate this, Tom. And, in anticipation of you seeing reason, I've also drafted an outline for a trial program on an actual star ship. Transmitting now."

Tom shook his head in wonder. "You really thought of everything, didn't you? You'd make one hell of a diplomat."

"Four of my five previous hosts were politicians." Kizri shrugged, still smiling. "It's in my blood."

"Well, if your proposal is half as impressive as you, I'm sure I'll be calling back with good news in a few days. Delaney out."

Kizri deactivated the computer monitor, her grin as wide as ever.

"Was that Admiral Delaney?" Leonard asked, pointing at the now blank screen.

"Yes, it was. He and I have been arguing for the last hour and a half, but things are looking up!" Kizri laughed, approaching the two and picking up Joanna. Holding the little girl on her hip, she poked Joanna's nose and smiled.

"And how are you this morning? Are you ready to have some fun with Keio and I?" Kizri asked, laughing as the girl nodded enthusiastically.

"Thanks again for watching her." Leonard said. "I should be by to pick her up around 1800 hours, barring any medical emergency."

"That sounds good. Why don't you stay for dinner when you come by?" Kizri asked, careful to keep the hope out of her voice.

"I really should get Joanna settled." Leonard mumbled. It was a pitiful excuse and they both knew it.

"It won't take long, Leonard. Besides, it will give the kids more time to play and I should be good and starved for adult conversation by 1800 hours." Kizri teased.

His intention was to turn her down. Really, it was. But he opened his mouth and was shocked to hear, "Alright, dinner it is.", come out instead of a gentle rejection. Where the hell did that come from?

"Great, I'll see you then! Say goodbye to your Daddy, Joanna."

Joanna held her arms up to her dad and Leonard followed her silent demand and picked her up. "Bye, honey. Be good for Kizri and have lots of fun with Keio. I want to hear all about it when I come get you tonight, okay?"

"Bye, Daddy. Love you." Joanna said, kissing his cheek.

Leonard's voice was a bit rough as he said, "Love you too, squirt. Now go play."

Joanna shimmied down from her father's arms and ran into Keio's room. Kizri came up to Leonard and gave him a strong hug, startling him out of reverie. She smiled quizzically, baffled at why physical affection always surprised him.

"You're a good father, Leonard." she whispered lightly, placing a brief kiss on his lips. She followed the children into the adjoining room and disappeared from sight.

He stood frozen in the middle of the room for a moment, uncertain of what had just happened, let alone what he should do about it. The surprised look on his face was quickly overshadowed by his usual scowl. Apparently, he'd run out of willpower at the precise moment he needed it most and now had a date with Kizri. He wasn't supposed to be encouraging this! For that matter, she wasn't supposed to want him in the first place!

"Damn it." he hissed to himself, stalking from the room.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Leonard scowled at the display screens and growled at the medical staff. He closed cabinets doors with more force than strictly necessary and slammed instruments down hard on any surface available. Luckily, there were no injuries and only two people came in with illnesses. Those were easily handled by Nurse Chapel, so he was left to stomp and sulk in peace. He didn't know why the interest of a beautiful woman was grating on him so much, but just the thought of her kissing him and encouraging him and…and…_understanding_ him was enough to set his teeth on edge. Why couldn't she just stay the hell away like everyone else? Why couldn't she see that he was a grumpy and cynical bastard? Why did she have to be all nice and warm and sensual and curvy…

And why in God's name did his rants immediately get derailed when he thought about her? It was maddening! He liked being grumpy! He liked being a bastard! And he liked being alone! But when he was around her he got all…talkative and invested, actually interested in what she had to say! Does that _sound_ like a bitter recluse? No! It sounds like an idealistic teenager falling in love for the first time!

Leonard froze in the middle of slamming a desk drawer shut. He didn't just think that. He did _not_ just think that. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, as though that would erase the thought from existence. But it was out there now and somehow, it made him even angrier. Damn her for making him think such stupid things! He didn't know how, but he was positive this was all her fault. He proceeded with his earlier activity, slamming the desk drawer so hard it made his desk shake.

"Wow, someone's in a mood." Jim said from the doorway, eyebrow raised. Bones scowled at that eyebrow. Obviously, Jim had been spending far too much time with Spock.

"Yeah, well, what of it?" Bones snapped, turning back toward his computer screen and trying to look interested. Except his computer screen was blank, a fact Jim discovered when he turned the monitor toward him. There went the eyebrow again.

"Really, Bones? Now that's just sad."

"What do you want, Jim?" Bones demanded. "Tell me now or get the hell out. I'm not in the mood for your games."

"Obviously." Jim remarked, taking a seat across the desk from Bones. "I came here to get your advice, but maybe you have something to get off your chest first, huh?"

"I'm doing too much talking and sharing as it is, apparently, and I have no desire to make it a habit. So, out with it. What do you need? Or rather, what are you and Lana fighting about now?"

Jim sighed, letting Bones' problem slide…for now. "It's awful, Bones. I don't know if our relationship can survive this one."

Bones leaned in. "Can't be that bad."

"It's worse. She wants…" Jim swallowed. "She wants to meet my mom on the next shore leave."

Bones' face went slack with shock. "Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'." Jim nodded.

"Lana would kill your mom within a day."

"That's generous; I give her half an hour." Jim snorted. "Even you wanted to kill her."

"Damn right, I did. The way she shot insults at both of us over the dinner table, saying it all casual as can be; sipping her wine and cutting into her chicken in between passive-aggressive barbs…Your mother would crucify Lana and Lana would jump over the centerpiece to strangle her."

"So you see my point! They can never, ever be allowed to meet. The universe might collapse in on itself or something equally catastrophic. But Lana won't listen to me! She thinks I'm exaggerating!"

Bones thought on it for a minute. "I got it. Do a trial run first, like a comm. call. Lana would get to see what a she-devil your mom is, but there would be hundreds of light years between them, so no bloodshed. She'd never want to meet your mom after talking to her for ten minutes."

"Bones, you're a genius!" Jim exclaimed. "This is why I come to you!"

"Happy to help, kid."

"So am I." Jim said cheerfully. "Which is why I'm not leaving until you tell me what's bothering you."

Bones' smile slipped off his face. That was a classic Jim move; he should have seen it coming. Knowing from experience that Jim really wouldn't leave until Bones told him what was going on, he let out a huge sigh.

"I have lady troubles of my own."

"Is that botanist who broke her wrist still giving you cow-eyes?" Jim asked.

"What?" Bones asked. It took him a minute to figure out who Jim was talking about. "Oh, her. No. It's Sulu's sister."

"Kizri? I haven't spent much time with her, but she seems nice. What's the problem?"

"She's…man, if I didn't know better, I'd say she was pursuing me." Bones said, feeling like an idiot for even saying it.

Jim just stared. "Still not seeing the problem here, buddy."

"She's…interested. In me." Bones said, as though that should explain everything.

"So?"

"So?" Bones repeated incredulously. "She's interested, Jim! In me! Why would she want me? What's wrong with her, that makes her want me? And she makes me-" Bones cut himself off.

Jim's smile slowly spread over his face. "You want her too, don't you?"

Bones huffed in frustration. "Yes, damn it! I want her too! But I don't _want _to want her!"

Jim shook his head. "I've never understood that about you, Bones. You're a romantic at heart, but you never let yourself just be a romantic."

Bones looked so horrified at that statement, as though he had just accused him of killing fluffy bunnies in his spare time, Jim had to dig his nails into his thigh to avoid laughing.

"I'm a…I'm a WHAT?" Bones croaked out.

"You're a romantic. What, you didn't know?"

Bones was still in shock, so it took a moment for him to respond. "No, I didn't know, because it's not true! Where the hell did you get that idea?"

Jim turned serious. "Look, I can't count the number of times I've come to you with a problem and you seem to know me better than I know myself. Just this once, can't the reverse be true?"

Bones looked down and, gritting his teeth, he nodded for Jim to continue.

"When I say you're a romantic, I don't mean the poetry-spouting, serenade-giving, half-open-white-shirt-running-down-the-beach-in-slow-motion type of romantic." Jim started.

"Thank God for small favors." Bones muttered. Jim shot him a glare for interrupting and Bones went silent again.

"I mean you're a romantic in the sense that you only want one woman for the rest of your life. You want that ideal union, where you just _know_. You want something that will last forever and you want to really be in love. You worked like hell to make it work with Rita because you thought she was the one for you. Even when you saw it wasn't working, you were too committed to call it quits; she's the one that filed for divorce. And at the Academy, you never dated just for the sake of being with someone and you never stayed with someone if you knew it wasn't going anywhere. Whether you recognize it or not, you've been searching for the _One_ for a long time and you haven't found anyone worthwhile, let alone special, until now. Admit it, Bones. Admit you want to be married and have a family. You want the kind of love your parents have."

Everything was silent in Bones' mind, absorbing what Jim had said. Jim had seen it from the very beginning. So how come he never saw it? He'd rarely ever gone on a second date, because what was the point when you knew nothing was going to come of it? But he never stopped to consider what kind of future he wanted, though he instinctively knew those women couldn't give it to him. And Jim, damn him, was completely right. He _did_ want what his parents had.

He loved the story of how his parents met. His father had been walking with Uncle Robert in Jackson, Mississippi when he stopped in his tracks. Uncle Robert followed his line of sight and saw a group of girls crossing the street. At 19 years old, his dad picked his mother out of that group, pointed at her and said with unshakeable certainty, "That's the girl I'm going to marry." He walked up, introduced himself in a rare show of boldness and they had been married for 56 years. He _knew_. Something rare and incredible just told him that she was the one for him. Four kids, five decades and a thousand fights later, his father still looked at his mother like he couldn't believe she picked him. And his mother still looked at him like he was the most wonderful man on the planet. Every Saturday morning of his childhood, he watched his parents make breakfast together. Sometimes there was playful teasing, sometimes lingering glances and kisses, sometimes just comfortable silence when they worked seamlessly together in a dance they'd done a million times before.

Oh, god, he wanted that. He wanted that so bad, his chest felt compressed and tight from the need to have it. He looked up at Jim, completely flabbergasted.

Jim gave him a small smile and said, not unkindly, "Told ya."

Bones shook his head. "Just because I'm a…Just because I want what my parents have doesn't mean Kizri's the one I want it with."

"You're right." Jim nodded. "But when was the last time a woman caught your attention like this? And if she's chasing you, maybe she feels a connection with you, too."

Bones fell silent once again. Jim stood up and rounded the desk, slapping Bones on the back. "Just think about it."

Bones snorted as Jim left. Like he'd be able to think about anything else.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Kizri was reading a book on space boomers and families on trade and transport ships when she heard her door chime. She wasn't expecting anyone and Leonard didn't get off work for another two hours.

"Come in!" she called lightly and her face immediately brightened when Lana walked through the door. "Lana! What a surprise!"

"You've been on the ship for days and I've barely seen you. I wanted to see how you're doing." Lana smiled. Joanna and Keio were playing with blocks at the door of Keio's room, entertaining themselves. Kizri put the PADD aside and patted the seat next to her on the couch.

"That's so kind of you. I'm sorry I haven't had the chance to spend much time with you or Hikaru."

"Hey, don't be. We understand. You've had a lot on your plate."

"Still, there's no excuse for neglecting my family." Kizri smiled. Lana warmed immediately, as she always did when Kizri said something so thoughtful and accepting. Hikaru, Kizri and Keio had been her only family for years and she cared for the woman before her like a sister. On impulse, Lana hugged Kizri. Kizri rubbed her back gently before withdrawing. "I'm sure I've missed so much! You've changed a lot since I last saw you."

"Yeah, I suppose I have. This place tends to have that effect on people, though." Lana shrugged.

"I think it's has less to do with this place and more to do with a person." Kizri teased. "Tell me about Captain Kirk."

Lana wasn't one to wax poetic, but she couldn't help getting a tad sentimental where Jim was concerned. She told Kizri how they met and games they would play with each other, making Kizri laugh. She told Kizri about her brother being on board and the adventures the ship had flown into. They two women caught up on each other's lives, speaking on lighthearted and serious matters alike. It was refreshing for both of them, to have a close woman friend to confide in. Lana liked Uhura and Bonnie, but they weren't too terribly close. Kizri had colleagues and acquaintances on I-SEC, but only a few friends.

A laugh came from Keio's room as the little boy chased Joanna, trying to get a toy truck from her. Both women smiled.

"They seem to get along well." Lana commented. "Joanna's such a sweet kid."

"Yes, this time is doing them both good."

"It's nice of you to watch her, but I bet it's a pain being around McCoy all the time." Lana said sympathetically.

"Actually, I'm quite fond of him." Kizri said, perking up.

"Really." Lana said, her tone flat and skeptical.

"Yes, he's a good man and has a great presence about him. He's kind and straightforward. Honest, funny, intelligent, handsome-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Lana jumped in. "You like McCoy? Like, romantically?"

"It's more than that, Lana." Kizri leaned in, her voice lowering to a conspiring whisper. "Do you remember that Nozomi romance novel I gave you?"

"What, 'Loving Vibrations'? Yeah, it was awful. Why?" Lana asked.

"I'll give you that, it was awful. But do you remember the part where Etzu and Luan had their first kiss?"

"Oh, yeah. And they had that weird connection thing. Fantastic Recognition or something."

"Ecstatic Recognition. Well, I experienced it when I first entered Leonard's quarters. It was incredible, like my body was absorbing every atom of his presence. His energy interacts with mine like two tones coming together to make perfect harmony. Every time I'm around him, his energy surrounds me and I feel like I can't breathe!" Kizri whispered excitedly.

"Wow. McCoy. Who knew?" Lana whistled lowly.

"But that's the problem, he doesn't know!" Kizri groaned. "I wish he could feel it, too, because then he would stop fighting this."

"What do you mean, fighting it?" Lana asked.

"He gets the strangest expression around me. He looks at me like he can't figure out why I'm speaking to him. And when I kissed him, he jerked away from me like he wasn't kissing me back just seconds earlier! Sometimes he looks at me with suspicion or confusion, when all I'm doing is talking. It's like he wants to trust that I like him, but can't think of a single reason why I would! It's all so complicated!"

Lana had a thoughtful look on her face as she nodded. She remained quiet for quite some time, before leaning toward Kizri. Kizri leaned forward as well, anticipating some of Lana's blunt wisdom. "You know." Lana started. "Jim has a wandering eye."

Kizri drew back. That's not what she'd been expecting, but Lana continued despite Kizri's confusion. "I can't say that I blame him. He's lived most of his life being hyperaware of the opposite sex. And I know he'd never cheat on me, but sometimes I think if he were drunk enough and the girl were persistent enough, it could happen. So whenever his eye strays a little too far from home, I take him to our room, push him into the mattress and prove to him why he should only think of me."

"What's your point, Lana?" Kizri asked confusedly.

"My point…is that sometimes you have to save your man from himself. Keep him from doing something stupid that would end up hurting both of you in the end." Lana said sharply. "I don't know much about McCoy's ex-wife, but from what Jim's said, she did a real number on him. He can't imagine why anyone would want to be with him. And he thinks, if someone does show interest, they'd only try to change him like she did. He sees himself as damaged goods. And of course he's an idiot for thinking that. He's a good man, just like you said, even if he is a little rough around the edges. So, to keep him from doing something stupid, somehow, you have to show him that he's not damaged and you're not his ex."

Kizri's eyes widened. "I don't suppose you have any suggestions on how to accomplish that?"

"Nope." Lana said unapologetically. "But I wish you the best of luck."

"Gee, thanks." Kizri rolled her eyes. "Very helpful."

Lana grinned. "I try. But really, I do hope that something good comes out of this. For both of you. Anyway, I have to go. Pavel and I are having dinner."

Kizri jumped up, realizing that Leonard would be getting off soon. "Oh no, I still have to make dinner!"

"Well, I'll get out of your hair. Love you, Kiz." Lana said, hugging her tight.

"I love you, too, Lana." Kizri returned the hug and then rushed to the replicator once Lana was gone.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

McCoy walked to Kizri's quarters, his stomach jumping the whole way. He'd thought about this all day and now he knew what he needed to do. Kizri was an amazing woman. Compassionate, open-minded, brilliant, funny and sexy as hell. She was a wonderful mother, a forward thinker and perhaps best of all, she didn't play games. She spoke her mind, said what she was really thinking and was genuinely herself. There was no denying that he wanted her.

She was wonderful and kind…and that's exactly why he couldn't be with her. She was too good for the likes of him. He was bitter, mean and closed-off. Yes, today had been a revelation. He was a romantic. He wanted the kind of love that his parents enjoyed. But that didn't mean he would ever get it. It wasn't in the cards for someone like him, a self-described bastard and proud of it. He would crush her, just by being himself. Or she would try to shape him into the man she _thought_ he could be. Really, she was the one in this situation deluding herself. She was pursuing a man who didn't exist. She wanted to believe there was more below the gruff exterior and she was just imagining that _deep down_ he was the kind of man she wanted. And when she found out that beneath the hard outer-shell was just more of the same, she'd try and force him to become the man she wanted. She didn't want him, she wanted a fantasy! Well, he'd just have to give her a cold dose of reality!

He pressed the call button outside her rooms and his heart lurched when she opened the door, her gentle smile beaming up at him. He stepped inside, saw the table was already set and the kids were eating happily. It was an idyllic sight, but he quickly steeled himself against the temptation of that image.

"Right on time." Kizri smiled, leading him by the hand to the table. "Have a seat."

"Actually, I can't stay." he said boldly. He watched her smile wither, but refused to be affected.

"Oh." she said softly. "Perhaps tomorrow night?"

"I don't think it's a good idea." he said, his tone resolute.

Kizri looked at the floor, nodding slightly. Putting on a fake smile, which pained Leonard to see, she spoke to the kids. "Keio, why don't you and Joanna go eat in your room while I speak to Doctor McCoy?"

"Okay, Mommy." Keio said quietly, sensing him mother was sad about something. He took both of their plates while the little girl carried their silverware and they disappeared into Keio's room.

"What's this about, Leonard?" Kizri asked, not moving an inch. They stood almost a whole room apart, Kizri's eyes holding fast to Leonard's.

"I don't think we should continue with this." Leonard said carefully.

"'This', being…?" Kizri waited for a response.

"I don't know!" Leonard ran his hand through his hair. "This flirtation, this seduction, this semi-dating thing we've been doing!"

"Why?" Kizri asked, her voice harder.

"It's for the best." Leonard said.

"Why?" Kizri asked again, a little louder.

"Because I need to focus on Joanna right now." Leonard said stubbornly.

"Why?" Kizri moved closer to him.

"Can't you just accept that I don't want this to go anywhere?" Leonard stepped closer to her, his ire rising at her persistence.

"Why?" she asked again, coming one step closer and slightly louder.

"Stop asking me that! I told you why!" Leonard yelled.

"You've yet to tell me the truth, Leonard! WHY?" Kizri yelled back.

"Because I don't want you!" he hollered, his body going still when he realized what he said.

Kizri staggered back, staring at him unbelievingly. "You're lying." she whispered. "After what I've felt, I know you're lying."

Leonard wanted to ask what that meant, what she'd felt, but it would distract him from his point. He hadn't meant to say that and certainly hadn't wanted to hurt her, but maybe this was the best way. If he told her the truth, that he wanted her too, she wouldn't just give up. She'd still hold hope that there could be something between them. And after this, there's no way she could deny that he was an unfeeling bastard.

"Look, I…I didn't want it to come out that way. I think you're a great person and I consider you a friend, but I don't want to be with you that way." Leonard said. "So the kissing and the dinners and the talks, they've got to stop. They're _going_ to stop. And I think it would be a good idea if Christine watched Joanna. Just to make things less…complicated."

Kizri was almost shaking with anger. He was lying to her! He had to be! She may have recognized the connection first, but surely his human instincts had picked up on it as well! It was unavoidable and unmistakable; he _had_ to feel it too! So then why would he be doing this? Ending things when they were just starting? They were on the verge of discovering all of the lasting dimensions that could be created between them and he was giving her the 'it's not you, it's me' speech? Recalling what Lana said, she thought that must be what he was doing: pushing her away to keep from being hurt or changed or some other equally inconsequential reason!

Kizri marched up to him and took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "You're a lot of things, Leonard, but I'd never guess that coward was one of them! You're afraid of this! You're afraid of what we could become to each other! Believe me, I know! From the first moment I stepped into your quarters, I knew how powerful the connection was. We are _right_ together! You and me, both just the way we are, are right! I don't want to change you. I would never hurt you and I would never, ever run from this! Trust yourself, Leonard. Close your eyes and feel the way your energy responds to mine. And then, you'll just _know_."

Leonard's breath was coming heavy and shallow. His eyes were glancing between hers, getting lost in the richness of them. There was such sincerity, such passion, he was almost convinced. He _wanted_ to be convinced. He wanted that knowing. But it wasn't cowardice that had him turn her down, it was care. For all his arguments, the danger here was not in him getting hurt, but her. He was toxic to someone as tender as her. And it was that thought that had him gently taking hold of her wrists and removing her hands from his face.

"I'm sorry, Kizri. I really am." he said, sidestepping her and quickly retrieving his daughter from Keio's room. Kizri didn't try to stop him. After he left with Joanna, she put Keio to bed robotically and went to her room. Everything that she'd longed for, everything her human side made her crave had been shot down. She'd told Spock that, despite her culture's views on monogamy, she'd only ever wanted one man. And when she first felt his energy sliding over hers when she woke up in sickbay, the potential was there. The connection became clear as day when the Ecstatic Recognition made itself known. She'd built dreams around that feeling and envisioned a future centered on it. She wasn't a woman given to flights of romantic fancy, but in the face of something that strong, the most practical woman in the universe wouldn't have been able to help herself. But all of that had been crushed. He didn't feel it. He didn't want her. She started to cry into her pillow, muffling the sounds so her son wouldn't hear.

_She wept until the entity inside of her couldn't take her pain anymore. He felt it as though it was his own and he gently lulled her into a deep sleep. He lay there inside of her for hours, unable to comprehend the level of emotion he was experiencing. His people didn't have emotions as humans defined them. What his kind felt wasn't explainable in human terms but roughly, it was…less harsh, less surprising, more controllable. But now, his anger toward Doctor McCoy was so strong, he felt like his atoms would shake apart. His sadness for Kizri felt like drowning without dying; constantly struggling to get out from under the weight of it, but not able to do so alone. His sympathy for them both felt like it was bleeding out of him and permeating the room with its caring strength. It was horrible. It was amazing. It was life as he'd never known it. His people had given him autonomy in this decision and he was ready. It was time to make himself known._

_Letting Kizri continue in her deep, healing sleep, once again he seized control of her body. His awareness was not limited to her senses and he felt the senior staff gather in the briefing room for their morning meeting. It was the perfect opportunity._

_Guiding her body to the closet, he selected a flowing dress of deep purple and slipped it on. Glancing at the body under his control in the mirror, he smoothed down the skirt as he'd seen Kizri do a thousand times._

_Standing at the door of her rooms, the entity smiled and stepped into the hall saying, _"Showtime."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Next chapter, the entity reveals itself! Please read and review, folks!


	7. Revealed

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that wasn't wrought from my own wicked imagination.**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The entity guided Kizri's body through the corridors with ease and familiarity, nodding to crewmembers as they passed. He'd inhabited her for over a year and knew every movement of her body inside and out. But for the first time, he wasn't concerned with mimicking a host's walk or manner and he didn't concern himself with Kizri's normal fluid grace; that wasn't him. He moved her limbs with a casual sort of efficiency. Her stride became longer, her step was heavier and he held her chin a bit higher. Her usual warm and open smile was replaced by an enigmatic tilt of the lips. Her eyes roved over every face with both awed wonder and critical sharpness.

The nurse, Christine, approached from the other end of the hall and greeted him with a wide smile. "Kizri! How are you?"

"Kizri's fine." The entity replied with a amused smile, sidestepping the woman and continuing down the hall. The other woman was left alone and confused in the corridor.

The entity finally reached the turbo lift and spoke to the computer in Kizri's soft lilt. "Deck one."

He was struck by a strange desire of wanting to squeal in excitement as he'd often heard Kizri do, but ignored the urge. The body sometimes had very curious physical reactions to emotions, but his excitement was understandable. He'd been waiting for this moment since the first starship Enterprise was still in commission. While that was a blink of an eye in his species' perception of time, this mission, _his_ mission had consumed and fascinated his people like nothing else. And he would be bringing it to a head.

The turbo lift doors opened and he strode to the doors at the end of the hall: the conference room. Filling Kizri's lungs with a full breath of air and then blowing it out, he entered.

"Obviously, the Kemian government should be concerned with the rebellion, but we shouldn't lose sight of-" Captain Kirk stopped in mid-sentence as Kizri walked through the door. She looked beautiful with her deep purple dress set against her pale skin, but for once he didn't give a woman's beauty a second thought. What the hell was she doing in his conference room?

While Kirk was slightly indignant about her sudden and uninvited appearance, Hikaru and Lana watched her intently. They leaned forward in their chairs, spines ramrod straight, eyes narrowed in concentration and hackles raised on nothing but instinct alone. This was not the Kizri they knew. The look in her eye, the position of her body, the look on her face, it was all wrong. They knew her expressions, her moods, her walk as well as they knew each others. But this…they weren't familiar with any of it and it just wasn't _her_. And despite sensing the difference acutely, they couldn't define it.

As for Leonard, his chest tightened at her ethereal appearance. God, she looked so beautiful and his own actions had leant a sense of the untouchable to her presence. He wouldn't be able to speak with her as easily or enter her quarters freely anymore; the best he could hope for after their encounter last night was painfully awkward small talk. He silently begged her to look at him for only a moment before shutting that thought down with the ruthless efficiency of a surgical clamp. This was for the best; he just had to keep that in mind. But still, when her eyes started to glide over the faces in the room, he sat a little straighter and couldn't keep the hope from his eyes.

Her eyes finally locked on his for only a second, but the look made his stomach feel hollow. Her eyes held only polite formality and none of her usual warm compassion. There was no hint of hurt or anger, no spark of awareness at his presence at all. She didn't look at him any longer or any differently than the others; her gaze just swept by with regal, cool regard. In fact, the way she held herself conveyed aloof curiosity. Her head was tilted slightly to the side and she looked at them as one would study a particularly profound painting in a silent, white museum. It was unnerving and alien, nothing like the passionate, uncommonly kind woman he knew. He swallowed thickly and looked away; perhaps it was for the best.

The entity in Kizri let her vision rove to the faces around the room. Hikaru, Lana, Chekov and Uhura were on one side of the table, with McCoy, Spock, Bonnie and Scotty on the other. Kirk sat across the room at the head of the table and every face held curiosity in varying degrees of intensity. Still, neither they nor she had said a word since she entered. She pulled out a chair at the end of the table opposite Kirk and gracefully lowered herself.

"Captain Kirk." the entity nodded in greeting. "Put me in contact with Jonathan Archer."

Hikaru snapped out of the stilted silence first. He immediately disregarded the fact that something was different about his sister when he realized that she'd just barged into a senior staff meeting like she owned the place.

"Kizri, what are you doing here?" Hikaru hissed through clenched teeth.

Slowly, Kizri turned her head toward him and gave a small smile. "Kizri is submerged at the moment, Hikaru. Don't worry, she's fine."

"S-submerged." Sulu repeated slowly, stuttering on the implication of that word. Goosebumps erupted on his skin. The voice was hers, but the tone, the words, the inflection, none of it fit.

"Yes. She isn't aware of my presence, nor these events. She's…sleeping." The entity replied, still smiling kindly. It finally registered around the room that this was not Kizri. It may be her body but something of unknown origin and intent was controlling her. A silence, pregnant with anticipation and dread, filled the room. Lana stopped breathing. Hikaru could only stare with wide eyes. Leonard's breathing was harsh and uneven.

"Who are you?" Kirk asked with suppressed fury. The lines of his face were set and his voice was hard.

"That's something I wish to discuss with Jonathan Archer." the entity replied calmly.

Kirk's nostrils flared and his voice was steel. "You're on my ship. Inhabiting someone under my protection. You will discuss it with me."

The entity smiled, giving a short chuckle. "You're very much like him, you know. Jonathan Archer. He would die for the people under his command and his crew would follow him to the gates of hell for his devotion. I suppose the position of ship's captain attracts humans with a certain set of attributes, loyalty and self-sacrifice being chief amongst them."

Kirk obviously wasn't in the mood to get into a philosophical debate on the merits of being captain. "You haven't answered my question. Who are you?"

The entity waved the question away with casual disregard, the flippant motion seeming out of place coming from Kizri. "My species has no use for names. But, if you must, you may call me Trinity."

"Trinity?" Kirk asked.

"Kizri, Nyaal and I all share this body." Trinity smiled slightly. "It's fitting."

"What do you want?" Kirk demanded to know.

"I'll discuss the finer points with Jonathan Archer." Trinity said pointedly, before relaxing some. "But, simply put, I am here for a historic and unprecedented event."

Kirk waited for the entity to go on, but after a beat of silence, impatiently asked, "And that event would be…?"

"First Contact." Trinity grinned. "Or rather, official First Contact."

"Why Archer?" Kirk asked.

"Our first encounter with humanity involved him, though he wouldn't remember. He set all of this in motion. He's the reason we've taken this step."

Leonard smacked his hand on the table and stood, as though he couldn't stay silent for another second. "And why Kizri?" he yelled, the veins of his neck straining and pulsing with barely suppressed rage.

"Why not Kizri?" Trinity shot back, eyes flashing angrily. The question was pointed and harsh, not at all about Trinity inhabiting her, but more like he was speaking to Leonard's harsh rejection. The two stared unyieldingly at each other, their gazes hot with accusation, until Kirk stood up next to Bones.

"Enough." Kirk growled, voice strained with the effort of maintaining his calm. Not glancing away from this Kizri impersonator for a second, he said, "Sit down, Bones. Now."

Leonard did as his Captain ordered, but his glare never wavered from Trinity. Trinity, though, focused his attention to Kirk and disregarded the Doctor, his gaze morphing back to its previous state of mild curiosity.

Kirk returned to his seat as well. "Assuming I did contact Admiral Archer, you've given me nothing to tell him. I need more."

Trinity smiled at Kirk's single-minded determination before nodding in concession. "Very well."

"What species are you?" Kirk demanded.

"We are called Arganians." Trinity replied, crossing Kizri's legs and folding her hands over her stomach casually. "We are non-corporeal beings, existing as neurolitic energy in a layer of subspace."

"And how many of you are currently inhabiting Federation citizens?" Kirk asked sharply.

Trinity drew back at the questions, obviously not expecting it. Realizing the implication of the question, he scoffed. "Please, Captain." he intoned with mild disgust. "You have nothing to fear from us. We have no interest in your lands or resources; we have no use for power, politics or control. We only wish to learn from you…your way."

"What exactly is our way?"

"We are observers by nature and that is how we first learned of your species, by watching your interactions and reactions. But those responses only tell half the story. The motivations behind the things we first witnessed in your species were far more telling of your values, of 'what made you tick', to borrow a human phrase." Trinity thought back to that first meeting and how his people had dispassionately treated the experience. His people had looked at humanity as though watching a mouse run in a maze. Archer had exposed them to a new way, demanding at the end of their encounter that if his species wanted to know humanity, to just ask them and talk to them. To continue the analogy, it was the difference between watching the mouse and sitting down with him to discuss why he wanted the cheese so badly.

"And this first encounter-"

Trinity held up a hand to stall Kirk. "Captain Kirk, I've already said more than I intended. My mission is to conduct the First Contact meetings with Jonathan Archer. The rest, I will only discuss with him."

"And what of Kizri?" Spock asked. "You say you are not interested in control, yet you inhabit her without her knowledge or consent with unforeseeable, possibly detrimental results."

Trinity's eyes flashed. "I would _never_ hurt Kizri."

Something in the entity's fierce and protective tone stood out to Leonard. He concentrated on the entity and suddenly, the mystery that brought Kizri to them fell into place. "You're what saved her on the station, aren't you?"

"Yes." Trinity replied shortly.

"But why her?" Hikaru asked quietly, repeating Leonard's question. "Why save her? Why inhabit her?"

Trinity couldn't help the biological tick that prompted him to take a deep breath before revealing the heavy truth. "She is the one I have chosen as my host. She will serve as Ambassador between humanity and my species."

Hikaru turned desperate eyes to Trinity. "She has a son, for God's sake! She has someone who needs her! Not you in her body, but _her_. You can't do this to them! Choose someone else, please! Choose me, inhabit me, if you have to! Just let her go!"

Trinity placed Kizri's warm hand over Hikaru's and turned kind, sympathetic eyes to the young man. "I appreciate the weight of the sacrifice you are willing to make for you sister, Hikaru, and I know Kizri would as well. I thought you might do something like this." Trinity smiled softly. "I have been with your sister for two years, now; I know you as well as she does. But this is not something you can take for her. I have spent decades searching for a host worthy of this role and Kizri is more profoundly suited to this than you could ever understand. I intend leave the decision up to her, of whether she wants to take on this awesome responsibility, but it will be no one's choice but hers."

For Hikaru, the situation was unfathomable. It was his sister's familiar, delicate hand holding his. Her rich, brown eyes were looking back at him. But it was someone else saying these words. This alien, Trinity, was talking about his sister in the third person, all the while using her voice to do so. He could only nod to Trinity, trusting him because he had no choice. Because it was his sister's beautiful, compassionate face willing him to trust.

"Why would you choose an alien/human hybrid to be your ambassador to humanity?" Spock asked, hiding his intense interest. "Would not a full human be more suitable to your purposes?"

Trinity gave a small, enigmatic smile. He'd devoted much thought to that himself when he'd first stumbled upon Kizri and considered her for his Ambassador. But he was convinced his decision was the right one, not in spite of her heritage, but because of it. To Spock, he said simply, "No."

"Trinity." Kirk started, finality and authority in his tone. "You've hidden your presence from my crew, taken control of an innocent woman's body and more or less decided her involvement for her. While I would have been amenable to your mission, as First Contact is one of the reasons we're out here, you've violated our trust before even trying to earn it. I don't see how we can continue."

Trinity nodded, understanding and admitting to each of Kirk's accusations. "I have done all of that, in anticipation of this meeting. But I believe I have done more to garner your trust than violate it. I saved an innocent woman and child from death, violating the direction of my people to simply observe. I put this mission, a mission of unimaginable import to the Arganians, at risk by engineering her miraculous survival, which I knew would be investigated. If I have learned anything from humanity, it is that an individual must stay true to his own conscience or he is already lost as his own man."

Trinity sensed the tension around the room begin to dissipate at his honest rhetoric and Kizri's low, warm voice. Kirk gave little away, but Trinity could tell the Captain was considering his view, so he continued. "As for Kizri, I did need her for this first meeting. We need a humanoid host to communicate with you, as we cannot do it in our natural forms. However, I do not intend to deny her the same choice I made in saving her. She must judge this by her own conscience. If she does not wish to serve as our Ambassador, I will not coerce, persuade or affect her decision in any way, for it is only hers to make."

Kirk remained silent, his position deceptively casual. He legs were crossed, his hands were in loose fists on the armrests of his chair and his head was cocked slightly to the side. But Leonard recognized the intense focus the Captain had directed internally to solve this problem. Leonard himself didn't know what he wanted the Captain to say. The alien in Kizri, Trinity, seemed genuine, but honestly, he was liable to believe anything that came out of Kizri's beautiful mouth. If he stayed in Kizri, what would that mean for her? For Keio? Would she still be Kizri? Would she still be the woman he lo-…admired?

Captain Kirk finally straightened in his chair, eyes locking onto Trinity. "I want to believe your sincerity, but I will need reassurances in order to protect my crew."

"I understand." Trinity replied.

"Our first medical scans of Kizri didn't reveal anything unusual. Was this your doing?" Kirk questioned.

"Yes. It is a simple matter for us to evade your scanning technology."

"No more evading." Kirk said sternly. "You will submit to a medical exam and make yourself fully detectable to our instruments. We need to see the way you are connected to Kizri's system and determine if any harm can come to her or Nyaal by your presence."

"I have not done any harm to either of them." Trinity responded, slightly indignant. However, seeing Kirk's deep scowl, Trinity continued. "But I can understand your need to determine that for yourself. I agree."

"Good. You will also have a security detail at all times until I determine one is not necessary. Clear?" Kirk demanded.

Trinity sighed, thinking that the hope of Kizri accepting this assignment was less likely with every stipulation Kirk made. But the mission was too important to let a few security measures derail him. "Understood."

"And Keio will not be staying with you."

Trinity stood up in a flash, eyes blazing. "Unacceptable! He is Kizri's son! You cannot expect her to accept this role if the cost is her child! And I would never harm the boy! I care for Keio as much as I do Kizri!"

"I will allow supervised visits until I determine that there is no threat to him, but I will not bend on this." Kirk concluded. "He's a child and shouldn't be caught in the middle of this."

Trinity shook his head sadly. "You're ending these talks before they begin, Captain. Kizri is never going to be our Ambassador if these are the restrictions you put on her and the same issues would be considered with any host we chose. Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps you are not ready for contact with such a different life-form."

"I didn't say these would be permanent changes." Kirk pointed out. "Just that we must get to know and trust each other before making certain concessions. You have to crawl before you can walk."

Trinity could do nothing but nod. "Very well, but you seem to be demanding my trust upfront by asking me to submit myself to your rules."

"In my mind, you're the one who needs to earn _our_ trust, seeing as how you Trojan Horsed your way onto my ship inside one of my officer's sisters." Kirk said lowly.

Trinity couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Touché, Captain."

With that, Kirk pressed a button and a security officer entered, standing at attention. "Please escort…our guest to sickbay." Turning to Trinity, Kirk said, "McCoy will be along shortly to check you out."

Trinity nodded and left with the officer. Kirk turned to his officers and said, "McCoy, I want you to check her out and report every finding, no matter how insignificant. In case this Trinity character doesn't hold up to his word, see if you can find a defense against him. Lana, go to sickbay with McCoy. I want you to be in charge of her security detail. Sulu, I need you to take Keio for a while, just until we figure this out. Spock, you and I need to make a call to Star Fleet Command." Finished with his orders, Kirk looked around the room. "Thoughts?"

The room was silent, no one knowing where to start. Scotty looked around the room and finally spoke up. "So, let me see if I've got this straight. She's got an alien symbiont, the memories of five dead Trill, a non-corporeal entity and her own personality all floatin' around in one body." He looked around the room, getting silent confirmation of his math. Finally reaching a conclusion, he said, "Gettin' a bit crowded in there, don't ya think?"

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Leonard had never been so uncomfortable in his life. He'd met Trinity in sickbay and immediately jumped into the tests, not saying a word that wasn't absolutely necessary. But those eyes, Kizri's beautiful, soulful eyes, followed his every movement. He hadn't seen those eyes blink or shift away from his face for nearly an hour. Those eyes gave nothing away, but Leonard's imagination filled in the blanks. He was sure, that if he looked into them for even a second, he'd see accusation and anger in them. And what's worse, both would be justified. He'd said some horrible things to Kizri in his rejection and he now realized that Trinity must have been witness to it all. He'd seen how protective Trinity was of Kizri and those eyes, focused so heavily on him, must reflect disgust at his cowardice and anger at his insensitivity. In his imagination, those eyes reflected everything he hated about himself and the pressure of his inadequacies mounted on his shoulders until he exploded.

"What, damn it!" Leonard shouted, making Lana jump across the room. Trinity, though, remained impassive. "What the hell are you looking at?"

Trinity leveled him with a cool gaze. "You're a moron."

Leonard drew back in complete surprise. "What?"

"I said, you're a moron. Need I explain why?" Trinity asked, in an odd combination of politeness and sarcasm. The look in his eyes confirmed Leonard's suspicion that he'd observed his fight with Kizri.

Leonard hissed. "It was none of your business. You had no right-"

"To watch you make an ass of yourself?" Trinity interrupted. "To watch in utter fascination as you sabotaged your own happiness in favor of your current miserable existence? Maybe not, but it doesn't change the fact I was there. I may be an eavesdropper, but you're still a moron. If you knew what Kizri felt for you, you never would have-"

Leonard's head snapped up. "What does she feel?" he asked, before he could stop himself.

"Her perception of the energy allowed her to connect to the very vibration of your being, the atomic, spiritual structure of you. She felt your energy's infinite resonance with hers, in what the Trill call Ecstatic Recognition. She took it as a sign of endlessly wonderful things to come between the two of you and a future she hadn't dared to dream of before."

Leonard was still, his brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to understand. He had thought in his own small terms of attraction and interest; he'd never imagined that the energy she believed in and claimed to see was a part of it. But he'd witnessed for himself how that impacted her. In sickbay, that spark when they first touched. In the cargo bay, with Keio. Then he remembered. "That time, in my room…"

"Yes." Trinity replied. "That's when she felt it."

"I wonder what it was like." Leonard said to himself in awe, remembering her physical reaction to the experience. How she'd moaned at the sensation and her body had shaken at the onslaught of _his _energy. It brought some primal satisfaction to him, knowing she'd reacted so intensely to only his presence.

Trinity brought him from his musings. "I can show you, if you like. Allow you to feel the energy as she does."

"You can do that?" Leonard wondered.

Trinity glanced at him in amusement. "I exist as pure energy. Of course, I can."

Leonard was absolutely sure Jim wouldn't approve. Hell, part of him didn't approve either and was banging around in his head, screaming, 'Don't even think about it!'. But the other part was quiet in his mind because no screaming was necessary to get the point across. That part had thought from the beginning that Kizri was something special, but he'd ignored it and pushed it aside. That part of him was the romantic, the believer, the father, the good man and he wouldn't ignore it anymore.

"Okay." Leonard muttered shakily. "I want to know. Show me."

Trinity nodded and took Leonard's hand. He used his energy to form a bridge between Kizri and Leonard, allowing him to feel in her energy what she had felt in his.

Leonard sucked in a ragged breath, feeling like he was breathing in her scent, her light, and her atoms with that single inhalation. With the pulse of her heart, everything she was entered him in waves. He felt like he had gone beyond his physical body and was in a dark space, an outline of her form connected to an outline of his by only their hands. They were both made of a billion other little parts, dancing and mingling in the air around them. These first exposures were light and relaxing, like being surrounded by the hot water of a bath with the muggy steam penetrating your skin and nostrils. But soon her atoms broke out of the form of her body, swirling around him with the power of a tornado. Her goodness surrounded him like the rush of warm, sweet air in heavy summer winds. Her brilliance lit the darkness with the blinding intensity of a supernova, making him stumble back at the shock of it. Her raw sensuality made his whole being vibrate with need and desire, bringing him to his knees with a rough groan.

The need was more uncontrollable, more violent, more urgent than any need for mere sex, at once fulfilling him and making him hungry for more. It was the desperate, undeniable craving for that which _feeds_ a person. Leonard felt like a junkie viewing his drug of choice as the end-all, be-all of life itself, as the sustenance he needed above all others. Take away food, take away water, take away everything, but if he had this feeling, he could survive it all. In the stunning moment of overwhelming, forceful epiphany, the atoms rushed into him, through him, around him and feeling inexplicably enlightened, it all made complete sense. He just knew…if he had her, he had everything.

Kizri's energy suddenly left his body, leaving him inexplicably bereft and alone as her warm hand slipped from his. He found himself back in sickbay, on his knees in front of the bio-bed and heaving in great gulps of oxygen. Quickly glancing around, realizing he wasn't alone in sickbay, he found the others mysteriously occupied with other tasks and not paying the slightest bit of attention to him. Glancing up at Trinity, the entity shrugged with a smile.

"I didn't think you'd want this to be a public spectacle." Trinity commented, reaching out a hand and pulling Leonard up with surprising strength. Once he was on his feet, the other people in the room once again took notice of him. The nurse asked him a question and Lana's eyes refocused on them, but none of them appeared to be aware of his experience.

"Thanks." Leonard offered.

"You're welcome." Trinity said back. "So? What did you think?"

Leonard shook his head as if to clear it, still trying to calm the quaking of his body. "I think I'm a moron."

Trinity nodded, looking proud of him. "Question is: what are you going to do about it?"

Leonard answered honestly. "I have no idea."

Trinity laughed lightly and said, "Well, I'll leave you to figure it out. It high time I had a conversation with Kizri."

Leonard nodded as he went back to work, though his focus was seriously impaired by the meaning of his experience. Trinity, meanwhile, receded into Kizri's mind to where her consciousness was slumbering.

_Kizri dreamt of the Tazial Gardens in the northern province of Trill. It was one of her favorite places to go as a child. The property was vast, with grottos, statues and pavilions occasionally dotting the landscape. It was well cared for and devoted to tranquility, but the grounds were controlled chaos. The blooms and vines grew with wild abandon, the fountains flowed endlessly with light purple waters and the sky was lit with only the twin moons of Trill at night. It was the most peaceful and content she could ever remember being. As always, she found herself in her favorite spot, the special place where nothing could disturb her. There was an outcrop of rocks, with a drizzling fountain pouring into a small pond. The water was beautiful in the moonlight and she lay down on a long, flat rock that jutted into the pond, only a foot or so above the water. She breathed the scent of the Exik blooms and listened to the rippling waters._

_But soon she heard the light crunch of fallen leaves being crushed underfoot. She couldn't remember anyone ever coming to this place before. It had always been hers alone. She raised herself onto her elbow and turned toward the sound. The clearing she loved was surrounded by trees and bushes, so the person had yet to emerge from the forest. But the sound of light footfalls grew closer. Kizri, for some reason, didn't feel fear or anxiety at the approach of the unknown. She felt only curiosity and anticipation. Soon a figure materialized from the forest beyond, walking toward her steadily. _

_It was a man, looking much like she thought Keio would when he grew older. Asian features were prominent; black hair, almond shaped eyes, dark spots on his pale skin. But instead of her son's intense blue eyes, they were brown like hers. The spots were lighter than Keio's, again, more like hers. She had never seen him before and kept her eyes locked with his. When he was only a few feet away, she finally sat up on the rock, crossing her legs underneath her. The rock was big enough that the man sat down on it in front of her, his back to the pond. She just continued to stare at him. His eyes were kind and lively._

"_Who are you?" she finally asked._

_The man smiled. "My name is Trinity."_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Please, please read and review! I love your thoughts and ideas for this story.**

**For those of you wondering where the character of Trinity came from, it's based off of an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise called, "The Observer Effect". Not necessary for the story, but a good episode.**

**Until next time!**


	8. Tangled

_**Disclaimer: I do not own.**_

_**I'm soooo sorry for the long break in this story. Lots of changes in my life, new job and a major move etc. But still, there's no excuse for such neglect! Please review and I'll do my best to update faithfully until the story is complete! Also, I've made some minor changes to the previous chapters, nothing huge, but cleaning up the story a bit. Might want to go back and read them. Thanks for sticking with the story, everyone!  
**_

_**XXXXXXXXXX**  
_

_Kizri let her vision stray to the splendid setting of this odd encounter, putting the stranger across from her aside for the moment. Part of her mind was aware, even now, that she wasn't on Trill; she was on the Enterprise, with Hikaru and Lana. But the gardens around her looked so real. Reaching her hand out, she touched a blooming Exik flower and marveled at the waxy, velvety softness of its petals. Drawing it to her face, she inhaled the sweet aroma. Creatures of the night called out around her; birds sang and insects buzzed. Waters splashed in disturbance as fish darted under the surface and small animals rustled the grasses around the clearing. It was all so vivid, just like being back on Trill._

"_Am I dreaming?" Kizri asked, her voice sounding syrupy and distant to her own ears as she took in the beauty around her. _

"_Yes and no." Trinity said gently. Gesturing to the wilderness around them, he continued. "This isn't real. Not so much a dream as a memory, but still generated by your subconscious. This conversation, however, is a different matter entirely."_

"_And you?" Kizri questioned. She reached her hand out and touched his arm. "Are you real?"_

_Trinity smiled. "Yes and no."_

_Kizri chuckled in response and Trinity smiled at the sound before continuing. "I'm real, in that I'm not a part of the dreamscape. I didn't come from your imagination; I exist in reality, just as you do. But this isn't what I look like." he revealed, sweeping a hand down the length of his body. "I'm not Trill. I'm not even humanoid."_

"_Then what are you?"Kizri asked quietly, focusing on him completely. _

_Trinity grew serious and took her hand in his, bringing their joined hands to his chest. "Whatever else I am, please believe that above everything, I am first and foremost your friend."_

_Kizri felt like she was falling through the depths of his brown eyes as they stared at each other, like he was allowing her to see his sincerity and intense belief in their bond._

"_I believe you." she breathed. "But how can you…how can we be so…"_

_Kizri struggled with the words, her understanding clouded by the haze of dreaming and the sheer strangeness of the situation._

_Trinity spared her the effort and finished for her. "How can I feel so connected to you when you've never met me before?"_

"_Yes." Kizri sighed, relieved to have the words._

"_You may not know me, but I know everything about you, Kizri." Trinity said, voice barely louder than a whisper as he told his story. "I am a being of energy and vibration, sent by my people to explore the depths of humanity. Since we encountered the species decades ago, we've been observing and absorbing all we can. They have fascinated us like no other humanoid species before. Our first contact preparations are usually extensive, taking thousands of years to come to fruition. But our fascination was insatiable; we couldn't wait. So I was sent to find an ambassador, someone who could bring us in closer contact with them. I searched for years, moving from planet to starship to space station. Then I found you and…" he looked up at Kizri, gauging how well she was handling his news. "I found you and the search was over."_

_Kizri's lips parted slowly, her mouth opening in shock. "You want me to be your ambassador to humanity? But…but why? I'm not even human!"_

"_Part of you is." Trinity reminded her. "And that's what made you so different, so perfect. How much of your life have you spent thinking about your human side? Denying it, exploring it, indulging it? In your youth, before you travelled to Earth, you daydreamed about what being human meant and how being part-human affected you. After you went and met your father, you thought of it even more. You've searched yourself again and again, trying to figure out what comes from your human side and what comes from your Trill side. No full human I've ever met is so intent on exploring the nature of their being. You have one foot in each world, but are not fully a part of either. I know how much of a struggle it's been for you, but it makes you special. You yearn to understand humanity, just as we do. Don't you understand, Kizri? You are our teacher, beloved and venerated! Your lessons in the nature of humanity are made even more poignant because they are a revelation for you as well as us."_

"_If a human hybrid is what you're looking for, surely there must be another like Spock and I out there!" she cried. "Someone more suited to be the voice of your people! I'm just a teacher, for goodness sake! Barely even that anymore, more like a researcher!"_

_Trinity chuckled. "I think you're forgetting your own extensive background in diplomacy, both from your work with I-SEC and the experience of your previous hosts." He could see she was prepared to argue that point, with a very human display of humility, but he held up a hand to stall her objections. "But even so, that's not why I chose you. I was not searching for political savvy or skilled rhetoric. I was searching for the qualities that first attracted us to humanity, that which made the human species different. When we first encountered humans, we were judging them by our standards of intelligence to see if they were worthy of contact. What we found instead was compassion, selflessness, loyalty, humility, curiosity and an immeasurable, unceasing capacity for hope. These were the qualities of humanity which left us dumbfounded by their strength and fascinated at their resilience. These are what I searched for and ultimately found…in you."_

"_I-I'm not any of those things!" Kizri denied desperately, her voice cracking from the depth of her belief in her own insignificance. "I've never done anything special. I'm not what you think I am! You're talking about me like I'm the embodiment of these grand ideals and vague notions of human character, but I'm just…I'm just me. The things I want are simple; the life I live is simple! I'm not brave or selfless or any of the things you-"_

_Kizri was cut off by Trinity's burst of laughter. It was a dark, disbelieving chuckle, the sound laced with both his amusement at her ridiculousness and his sadness at her blindness. "Kizri, I entered you only weeks before your trip to Burros II. I saw your selflessness and bravery first hand."_

_Kizri's eyes became slightly unfocused as she remembered that fateful trip. She and Trill's Ministress of Education, Joniah, had taken a shuttle to an interspecies education conference. Joniah, being an accomplished pilot, felt no need to bother anyone else with the journey, so guided the shuttle herself. It was just the two of them, but there was a problem in the engine core that caused an electrical malfunction. The shuttle was forced to make an emergency landing on Burros Prime. Joniah was badly injured and fading quickly by the time rescue crews got to them. They were the only two Trill within fifty light years and Kizri knew that if Joniah died, her symbiont Nyaal wouldn't survive long without a new host. Though the ordeal was hazy at best, she clearly remembered begging the surgical teams to save Nyaal by transplanting him into her, despite the risks. They contacted the Symbiosis Commission and a Joining Specialist had talked the alien doctors through the complicated procedure. The next morning she awoke a new woman._

"_That wasn't bravery. Symbionts are revered in our culture. Any Trill would gladly give their life to save a one." _

_Trinity sighed, internally thinking that perhaps she and the doctor were a better match than he originally thought. They were both stubborn as hell when it came to being recognized for their achievements. "Regardless of how you view your actions, I see them as evidence that my choice is justified. I want you to be our ambassador and none of your denials will change that desire."_

"_What…what would this mean for me? If I chose to accept?"_

"_It would mean a partnership between the two of us." Trinity explained. "We would work together to be the ambassador my people need. I would have access to your memory, should I need to reference it to explain myself. You would be able to read my intent, should I fail at that and be unable to convey something in human terms. You would still be you; most of the time, I would continue on as an observer as I have these past years. Only when acting as a liaison for my species would I assert myself and even then, I would not suppress you. You would be able to observe my actions from the recesses of your mind and be able to take control at any time. We would be companions and colleagues through this, Kizri."_

"_And…" Kizri continued. "And if I chose not to? What then?"_

"_While I would be deeply disappointed, the choice is yours, of course." Trinity assured her. "I would never force this on you, Kizri. Humans prize the ability to choose for themselves above any other virtue and I would never deny you that. Do you believe me?"_

_Kizri studied the man in front of her and it was like a wall within her mind came down. She could feel his honesty and integrity filling her and she nodded resolutely. "I do."_

_Trinity smiled in relief, before becoming solemn. "If you choose not to be our ambassador, I would accept it and never bother you again."_

_Kizri gave a shaky smile. "I have a lot to think about before I decide. Do you think I could stay here a bit longer?" she said, gesturing to the garden around them._

"_It's your dream, Kizri. Of course, you can stay. Let me know when you want to resurface." Trinity said gently._

"_I will."_

_She watched him rise from the rock they were both sitting on and retreat into the forest once more. She lay flat on the rock, looking up at the twin moons. She exhaled long and slow as she began to think._

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Bones noticed the second Kizri began to stir. To the untrained eye, she looked as though she was sleeping. However, his scans of her brain wave patterns showed significant neurological activity and more than one pattern, now that Trinity was allowing himself to be detected.

"Kizri?" he exclaimed, rushing forward to help her sit up.

"I'm afraid not, Doctor." Trinity replied, swinging his feet over the edge of the biobed.

"Trinity." Bones said. "Where's Kizri?"

"She decided to stay submerged for a while longer. As you can imagine, she has a lot to digest." Trinity said, his sympathy for Kizri's predicament evident.

"I'm sure she does." Bones agreed, pulling himself up on the biobed next to Trinity. There was a moment of comfortable silence between them before Bones spoke up. "I finished my scans."

"I see." Trinity said, stiffening slightly. "Then you know."

"Yep." Bones nodded solemnly. He kept catching his lower lip between his teeth and dragging it through unconsciously. It was a tick left over from his youth, a gesture of thoughtfulness and anxiety. Once he realized he was doing it, he stopped immediately. "Have you told Kizri?"

"No and I would appreciate it if you didn't either." Trinity stressed.

Bones shot Trinity a glare. "It's her body, Trinity. I'm not keeping this from her."

Trinity sighed and let out a half-hearted chuckle. "No, I didn't think you would. I just don't want her to feel pressured into accepting the role of ambassador. I want her to know she has a choice."

"But she doesn't!" Bones hissed. "Not really."

"She does." Trinity said resolutely, his chin lifting in defiance. "If she chooses not to be our ambassador, she won't hear anything more from me. I already promised her that."

"You would do that?" Bones asked, something like admiration in his tone.

"For her, anything."

"What about Nyaal? Does he know?"

Trinity laughed. "Nyaal is a being of extreme intelligence and his species is very sensitive to energy. He was aware of my presence the moment he was transplanted into Kizri. He and I actually have quite the rapport and I consider him a dear friend. Like me, he has great concern for Kizri's welfare and I've consulted with him many times about how best to broach this subject. He supports my ambition, as long as Kizri is willing."

"Well, just so you know, I…admire what you're doing." Bones said uncomfortably.

"I appreciate that." Trinity said, a hint of surprise in his voice.

Bones nodded. "I still have to tell the captain about all this, though. He's expecting my report."

Trinity waived him away dismissively. "If you must." he sighed.

Bones hopped down from his seat and retreated slowly into his office. Dropping into his office chair and reclining with his feet on his desk, he pinched the bridge of his nose in hopes of finding relief from the headache that was thundering in his skull. He could hardly believe what his scans had revealed; it changed everything. Not just for Kizri, but for Keio, Sulu, Lana and even himself. Nothing would be the same once this came out. Part of him respected Trinity's decision not to tell her. She really didn't need that pressure on top of everything else. However, considering it was her body and her future, she had the right to know. But was it his place to tell her? They were sort of friends…awkward and uncomfortable acquaintances might be a better term, thanks to him.

He shook his head, rubbing his temples. What a mess he'd made of things.

In true masochistic fashion, the moment he'd alienated Kizri after their fight was of course the moment he also started thinking of how _possible_ it all was. Starting with her impassioned words to him in her quarters and ending with Trinity's revelation of the energetic bond they shared, he'd been thinking more and more about what they could become together. She wouldn't try to change him, he knew that now. She didn't play games like that and besides, with her knowledge of the energy, she probably already knew it was a useless endeavor. He wouldn't change her either. He liked her optimism and sensitivity, despite his own persistent realism and disregard for social niceties. He liked her warmth and passion, even though most saw him as gruff and clinical. They may not line up on paper, but since when was that a good judge of _anything_?

On paper, he was sarcastic, callous, unapproachable, abrupt and negative. But he held his daughter every night until she fell asleep because she was afraid to be alone. He checked in on his patients even when he was off duty, just to make sure they were comfortable. He never raised his voice to his daughter and he did his best to let her know she was loved. He guided his friends with his hard learned wisdom whenever they needed advice. He was loyal to a fault to those who'd earned his trust. For some reason, he never saw it before. Or maybe he just never let those qualities mean anything before. But it meant something now, because one woman thought he was a good man and damn it all if he wasn't starting to think it too. She made him feel…good. Like he could do anything if she believed he could.

And what did he do to such an amazing, giving woman? He yelled at her. He pushed her away. He made her feel unwanted and unworthy, when it was really _him_ who was unworthy of _her_. Now he was faced with a choice. Did he go his usual route and leave the mess he'd made alone? Let her avoid him and hate him and eventually leave him? Or did he take the road less travelled – or rather, never travelled – and fight for something he wanted? Did he care about her that much? Did he want her that much, even knowing about the situation with Trinity?

"Damn it. Why can't it ever be easy?" he muttered under his breath, eyes still closed.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Jim hurried impatiently through the doors of sickbay, bypassing the medical staff and only sparing a cursory glance towards Kizri's sleeping form. He'd expected Bones' report over an hour ago, but still hadn't heard anything. He was eager for his friend's input on the situation and hoped he was successful in finding a defense against the entity called Trinity. The presence of an undetectable, sentient, non-corporeal being of unknown power was worrisome to say the least. His first instinct was to trust Trinity and believe his word that he would never harm or force Kizri, but as much as he relied on his gut, the stakes were too high to let that be his only guide in this situation. He strode purposefully to the back, to Bones' office. The glass was tinted opaque, which was rare, and it appeared dark inside.

"Computer, location of Doctor McCoy." Jim demanded.

"Doctor McCoy is located on deck one, section twelve, subsection alpha: Office of the Chief Medical Officer." the Computer replied smoothly.

Jim's brow furrowed in confusion, but he stepped into the seemingly unoccupied office anyway. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the dark, but he could see an outline of the doctor slumped over his desk, with his head resting on his arms. For a moment Jim thought he was asleep, but a grumble came from his friend.

"Go away, damn it." he growled roughly, still not looking up. "I'm thinking."

"Bones!" Jim snapped impatiently. "Where the hell is my report?"

Jim was disappointed when Bones didn't snap to attention, but then he really shouldn't be surprised. Instead, the doctor shoved himself off of the desk and into a seated position, scowl more prominent that ever. Touching a button on his desk, the lights came up and he squinted at the brightness.

"I didn't write it." Bones responded distractedly.

Jim's expression hardened. "Care to explain why you didn't do your job?"

Bones sneered darkly. "You wanted a report on possible defenses against Trinity, to remove him from Kizri in case his intentions are malevolent, right?"

"You know that's what I wanted." Jim shot back through clenched teeth, any tolerance for the situation gone.

Bones seemed to sense his friend going into full captain mode, so dropped the defiant attitude with a sigh. "Well, there is no defense, Jim."

Jim also abandoned his authoritative manner and dropped into the seat in front of Bones' desk. "That's it? Just no? No alternatives or theories or possibilities?"

"No." Bones said tiredly.

"Well, why the hell not?" Jim exclaimed, a measure of his ire returning.

"Because he can't leave her!" Bones shouted back. "Even if we did find a way to force him out of her system, it would kill her! Trinity is the only thing keeping her alive and stable!"

"What do you mean?" Jim asked quietly, returning to his seat.

Bones sighed, rubbing his forehead. "When Trinity revealed himself to our scans, I noticed something…off. There are three types of neural energy running in Kizri's body: hers, Nyaal's and Trinity's. All three of them were inextricable from each other and it took me a while to map the flow of the energies in her system. I analyzed hers and Nyaal's first. Jim, remember when she first came aboard and Sulu and I were discussing her Joining?"

"Yeah. You said it shouldn't be stable because she's half-human, but the Joining was successful anyway." Jim recalled.

Bones shook his head. "It _wasn't_ stable, Jim. Her neural energy and Nyaal's are _not_ compatible. The Joining should have killed them both, but Trinity was already inside her at that point. He used his own energy like an adapter between the two. He converts the energy flowing from Kizri to Nyaal into something Nyaal's nervous system can process and vice versa. Jim, if Trinity were to ever leave them, they'd die."

Jim followed his friend's lead and deflated with an exhausted sigh, scrubbing his face wearily with his hands. "Does she know?"

"Not yet. Trinity didn't want her to feel pressured into accepting."

"What a choice, Bones." Jim said, shaking his head. "Either she accepts, becomes their ambassador and lives the rest of her life with that…that _hitchhiker_ in her head. Or, she doesn't accept, Trinity leaves and she dies."

"Not quite." Bones winced slightly. "If she accepts, Trinity will stay revealed to her and they'll continue on with First Contact together. If she doesn't…Jim, he's prepared to stay hidden in her for the rest of her natural life. Someone else from his species would head up First Contact and choose a different host, he'd never reveal himself again and he'd just stay as an observer for the next however-many decades."

"Wow." Jim whistled lowly. "That's devotion. I only spent ten minutes with him and even I could tell how much First Contact means to him. Not just his species, but him personally."

"Yeah." Bones agreed. They lapsed into silence, both trying to process the choices ahead. Jim was bent over in his seat, elbows resting on his knees and chin perched on his folded hands. He studied his friend for a moment and shook his head sadly.

"I'm sorry, Bones." Jim grimaced. "Even though you wouldn't admit it, I know she meant something special to you."

"Yeah, I guess. But that hasn't changed." Bones replied, confused by Jim's sympathy.

"But with the whole Trinity thing…" Jim started, but seeing his friend's confusion grow, he tried again. "I mean, it would be hard to make something work with her since Trinity would be a constant presence."

Bones snorted. "Trinity's not the one who screwed things up between us. That was all me. But I'll fix things with her…somehow."

Jim shook his head to try and clear it. "Let me get this straight. When it was just you and her, you weren't sure you wanted her and did everything in your power to push her away. But now that she's got an alien entity inside her head and sometimes controlling her body, one that can't ever leave her by the way, now you decide you want to pursue her? And you call my love life twisted."

"Trinity's got nothing to do with it." Bones tried to explain. "It just so happens that he revealed himself around the same time that I figured out what a jackass I was being. It's coincidental, not causal."

"It doesn't bother you, though?" Jim pressed. "He'd be observing you guys all the time, you'd never have a private moment…ever!"

Bones shrugged. He hadn't really made any headway with his thoughts on the situation when sulking alone in his office, but now that he was being questioned, the answers came naturally. "Not really. I've kind of developed a rapport with the guy and I think I'm starting to understand him. He's here to observe, Jim. He's just out for the honest truth of humanity. The truth isn't good or bad, it just _is_ and that's what he sees. No bias, pity, judgment or pretext; just fact and the willingness to learn from those facts. It's refreshingly straightforward, actually."

"But…but…" Jim sputtered. "_Really_? I mean, you'd seriously be okay with him looking at you from behind her eyes while you made love to her or said your wedding vows to her or fought with her?"

"I don't know, dammit." Bones growled in frustration, running a hand through his hair. "But I'm sick of living my life like this. Whole relationships have started up and died in my head before I ever did anything about them in reality because I start dwelling on the _possible_ bad things that might _hypothetically_ happen. I start inventing fights about faults that aren't really there! I don't want to do that to Kizri, she deserves better than that. Hell, we both do! I've never fought for a god-damned thing in my life, Jim. Maybe it's because I've never cared enough or maybe it's because I never wanted to work that hard. But she's worth it, all of her. Trinity is part of her now, just like Nyaal. Nyaal is aware of everything, too, and any Trill that Joins with Nyaal after Kizri's gone would have memory of us as well. There's no such thing as privacy with a Joined Trill. I can accept that for her because she would do the same for me. I don't see how Trinity's any different."

"Why you…" Jim started seriously, but a grin quickly spread over his face. "You romantic son of a bitch, you! I knew you were a romantic, but this is some serious, knightly wooing you're doing here!"

Bones couldn't help but laugh with Jim. "Yeah, well right now it's just a bunch of pretty words. I still have to get her to forgive me."

"Hell, just say that and you'll be fine!" Jim drawled, grinning. "Besides, she doesn't seem like the type to hold a grudge. What did you do, anyway?"

Bones winced. "I sort of told her that…I didn't want her and there couldn't ever be anything between us."

Jim hissed, "Oooh. Not good, buddy. Very not good."

"Yeah, I figured." Bones admitted sheepishly.

"Look, maybe you could try being her friend first and gain her trust again. Win her over that way before moving on to the serious stuff. That's what I did with Lana when we first got together."

"And look how that turned out." Bones snorted.

"Hey, we're still together, aren't we?" Jim pointed out. "Besides, you've dug yourself into quite a hole. There's nowhere to go but up, no matter what you choose to do."

"I must agree with the Captain." Trinity said from the doorway, smirking in a way that seemed at once unnatural and sexy as hell on Kizri's face. The two men whipped around to face her, eyes wide. "This will likely be the last conversation you and I have without Kizri listening, so I feel obligated to prevent you from being your usual hopeless, pathetic self by giving you the benefit of my insights before they are lost to you."

"It astounds me how you can sound so caring and so insulting in the same breath." Bones said dryly. Trinity just grinned and stayed silent. Finally, Bones rolled his eyes and huffed impatiently, "Well? Are you gonna help or not?"

Trinity's grin just got wider, thoroughly enjoying himself in this _utterly human_ conversation. "I believe the Captain's notion of becoming her friend first is a good strategy. You really hurt her." Bones had the decency to look abashed. "And keep in mind that your rejection is her last memory before I asserted myself, so the emotions of it are still quite raw for her. But Kizri is nothing if not forgiving. She also appreciates directness, so just explain that you want to try being friends. She will accept you, I'm sure of it. Also, a bouquet of Exik flowers wouldn't hurt. And smile. She's a sucker for your smile. And your eyes. And your hands." Trinity paused and considered. "And your backside."

Meanwhile, Jim was cracking up and Bones was sputtering and turning bright red. Jim got up and slapped Trinity on the back, still laughing. "Oh, this is going to be fun!"

"Yes, Captain, I believe it will be." Trinity responded, grinning. Suddenly, his smile faded and he seemed to focus internally.

"What is it?" Jim asked.

"Kizri is ready to resurface. She's made her decision."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

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